Weekend update

So yeah - the whole "taking a break thing"...yyyyeaahhhh. Here I am again, trolling POF, sending out messages, and taking chances! Lol. At first, I was thinking maybe that's a bad thing - maybe I really am desperate and totally codependent. But then I started thinking, hey - maybe it's actually a good thing. Maybe it means I am not getting so hopeless and despondent every time something doesn't work out, and I am actually maintaining some faith and belief in myself. I remember Diana saying that there is a difference to putting myself out there and making myself available and being truly desperate.

Now for a bit of "the trippy" : I had a dream Friday night that I was in a relationship with a black girl. It was like we were married or engaged or something. By itself, not erxtraordinary, although I have never dreamed of being with a black girl before. Then, last night when I was on POF, a black girl actually IM'd me, and we chatted for a bit. It was a pretty good chat, and she looks really pretty. BUT, I am not reading too much into it. If I learned anything in my experience with Barbara, it was to avoid assigning all kinds of meaning to various events, even if they seem to be incredibly coincidental - it can lead to nothing but heartache and trouble. I mean, if something great does come out of something like that, I can always look back in wonder, and think "wow." But if I go all crazy with it, thinking "this is meant to be!" and it doesn't work out...? No bueno.

In other news, I am meeting Heather Tancke for coffee today at 2. Heather has always been a really cool chick, and - to be brutally honest - if she was in a little better shape, I would probably ask her out. But she has gained some weight over the years, and I am just not able to get over my aversion to dating heavier women - especially now that I have gotten into such good shape myself. I think it will be great to catch up though and to visit with her. She really is a sweetheart.

Ok - enough typing for today. I'm audi 5000 yizzall!