It seems that once again, it has been a long time since I posted anything. I wish I could say I've been having "too much fun," but I am afraid it's just the opposite : I am unemployed, and not feeling real good about my future at this point.
My job at BGA seemed to be going well. As far as I could tell, they were happy with me, and I was starting to get more comfortable with all of them (all 6 of them). Then, out of nowhere, Cindy called me into her office one Friday (about 3 weeks ago) and asked me how I thought I was doing so far. I told her that I thought I was doing well, and that - given the circumstances - I was pretty happy with my progress. Since they were getting ready to do a major rollout, Paul had been very busy and maybe didn't have the time to spend with me that he normally would have - at least in my opinion.
She proceeded to tell me that, from what she saw in the meeting we had the previous day, I really hadn't done much at all and that she had expected a lot more from me. I was quite taken aback, as no one had said anything about my performance previous to this. I told her that there was a LOT of code behind what I had done, and that there were several things that weren't even working to begin with that I had fixed. She went on to tell me that she wasn't sure I was the "type of person they needed" in the position, that they really needed a Type A, in your face person, and that she wasn't sure if I could be that person or not. I told her about Paul having been busy, about not wanting to make so many changes that I broke the build and messed up the release, and she seemed to understand me. She told me to think about it over the weekend and we could take about it Monday.
I left her office feeling pretty icky, and proceeded to go downstairs to call Debbie and tell her about it. After speaking with her, I went back up to the office I shared with Paul and was fairly certain I could make it through the next 2 hours before I got to go home. I noticed when I got back up there that Paul wasn't there, which I found pretty 'coincidental.' Well, about 10 minutes later, he came back into the office, along with Cindy.
They both came in and sat down, Cindy looked at me and said, "Why don't you tell Paul what you were telling me about?" So I proceeded to tell Paul all of the things I had told Cindy, only for him to consistently shut me down, contradict what I said, and paint it in a light that made me look like an incompetent fool. He told me that during the meeting the day before I had given an estimate of 30 hours for a worksheet that I was working on, and he explained that it was merely an "exercise", that he could do it in 4 hours. I told him that it was taking me awhile to understand the logic of it, and he said, "why do you need to understand it? There are 3 different implementations of it in the code. You should be able to just look at the code and do it."
After each rebuttal by Paul, Cindy would come back to me, and say again and again, "So, do you think you can be the kind of person we need? You think you can be a Type A person?...." I said to her, "It seems to me like you guys already have your mind made up that I cannot." I then asked Paul why he hadn't introduced me to Clark, one of the agents, on one of his many trips down to our office, so I could better understand what they needed, and Cindy blurted out "Stop - that's it! See, we need someone to be an in your face kind of person, and jump in there and say, 'hey, it sounds like I need to know this stuff so I am going to sit in'." I told Cindy that I had only been there 2 months and was trying to not step on toes, and she said that if I was going to sit and wait for someone to introduce me to people, I would be sitting there forever.
Again, she asked me, "So, do you think you can be the kind of person we need?" to which I finally answered, "Uhhhh, no? I mean, I feel like I am a defendant being pressured to sign a plea bargain here. So I guess the answer you want is no, I can't be that kind of person?" She told me that I could leave early and take the weekend off, and that even if I decided I couldn't be what they needed, that I could stay and at least finish the worksheet - to which Paul replied, "IF he can get it done." Nice, the icing on the cake.
So, after going in on Saturday to clean out all my stuff, and finding out that they had already locked me out of my computer, I went in on Monday (after another interview with Noteworthy Medical) and told them that I could not be the person they needed, and that it was probably best for me to be on my way. I really wanted to lay it on them about how shitty I thought they had done me, but I didn't. I did send an email later that basically let them know how unhappy I was with the way they handled it, and that was that. That was Monday, June 6th, and as of today, Wednesday, June 22nd, I am still unemployed. For many people, that may not seem like a long time, but for me, it feels like forever.
What has made it really hard too is that the day I left BGA, that Monday morning, I went in to Noteworthy - where I had interviewed before when I was looking to leave Banner - and met with another person there named Paul for a diferent position that had come open. Seeing as how I had already met and interviewed with Werner, and had a technical interview, I figured this was a shoe-in. But apparently, the day after the interview, their new CEO enacted a hiring freeze, and for the last 2 and a half weeks, they have been trying to get approval to hire me. In the meantime, I have been on 4 other interviews - 2 of which decided they wanted someone with more experience (DriveTime and Concord), one which wanted Sharepoint 2010 experience (Global Water), and one I am still waiting to here back on (a contracting position with ADOT).
I am getting a bit scared now though, because as I look through the jobs posted on Dice and CareerBuilder, and after all the interviews, it seems that having worked only on INTRANET sites at Banner, and not on INTERNET sites really hampered and stunted my development and experience as a developer, particularly as far as things like SSL, web services, and Http Modules go. Now, I am sweating a bit, wondering if I even have the skills to apply for the jobs I am. I am starting to question my core abilities. Which is not a good place to be.
Fortunately, as almost always seems to be the case, I have an appointment with Diana tonight, right when I need one most. And Debbie has been great through all this, giving me love, support and encouragement. I have tried to keep my head up, which hasn't always been easy, and have been hitting the gym regularly whenever I get too down and bored. Galen is staying with Alex for the foreseeable future, and Tessi has been at Carrie's or her mom's all summer so far, so that has taken some pressure off as far as buying groceries and such. So I am trying to maintain a positive attitude, be patient and have faith that everything will work out.
I actually just got a call from Keith, the recruiter at Noteworthy Medical Systems, and he said that the CEO - Heinrich - is supposed to be in Phoenix this week, and Werner is planning on meeting with him, so he is thinking they will be able to make me an official offer Friday. He also reiterated that both Paul and Werner really liked me, and that Paul was excited to get me on board. That is nice to hear. Now, if I could only get an actual OFFER. I know, I know - patience... patience is the key right now. That, and keeping financially afloat. So far, I am ok. But if I don't get an offer by Friday, things are going to start getting shaky. Lord help me - seriously! Lol.
My job at BGA seemed to be going well. As far as I could tell, they were happy with me, and I was starting to get more comfortable with all of them (all 6 of them). Then, out of nowhere, Cindy called me into her office one Friday (about 3 weeks ago) and asked me how I thought I was doing so far. I told her that I thought I was doing well, and that - given the circumstances - I was pretty happy with my progress. Since they were getting ready to do a major rollout, Paul had been very busy and maybe didn't have the time to spend with me that he normally would have - at least in my opinion.
She proceeded to tell me that, from what she saw in the meeting we had the previous day, I really hadn't done much at all and that she had expected a lot more from me. I was quite taken aback, as no one had said anything about my performance previous to this. I told her that there was a LOT of code behind what I had done, and that there were several things that weren't even working to begin with that I had fixed. She went on to tell me that she wasn't sure I was the "type of person they needed" in the position, that they really needed a Type A, in your face person, and that she wasn't sure if I could be that person or not. I told her about Paul having been busy, about not wanting to make so many changes that I broke the build and messed up the release, and she seemed to understand me. She told me to think about it over the weekend and we could take about it Monday.
I left her office feeling pretty icky, and proceeded to go downstairs to call Debbie and tell her about it. After speaking with her, I went back up to the office I shared with Paul and was fairly certain I could make it through the next 2 hours before I got to go home. I noticed when I got back up there that Paul wasn't there, which I found pretty 'coincidental.' Well, about 10 minutes later, he came back into the office, along with Cindy.
They both came in and sat down, Cindy looked at me and said, "Why don't you tell Paul what you were telling me about?" So I proceeded to tell Paul all of the things I had told Cindy, only for him to consistently shut me down, contradict what I said, and paint it in a light that made me look like an incompetent fool. He told me that during the meeting the day before I had given an estimate of 30 hours for a worksheet that I was working on, and he explained that it was merely an "exercise", that he could do it in 4 hours. I told him that it was taking me awhile to understand the logic of it, and he said, "why do you need to understand it? There are 3 different implementations of it in the code. You should be able to just look at the code and do it."
After each rebuttal by Paul, Cindy would come back to me, and say again and again, "So, do you think you can be the kind of person we need? You think you can be a Type A person?...." I said to her, "It seems to me like you guys already have your mind made up that I cannot." I then asked Paul why he hadn't introduced me to Clark, one of the agents, on one of his many trips down to our office, so I could better understand what they needed, and Cindy blurted out "Stop - that's it! See, we need someone to be an in your face kind of person, and jump in there and say, 'hey, it sounds like I need to know this stuff so I am going to sit in'." I told Cindy that I had only been there 2 months and was trying to not step on toes, and she said that if I was going to sit and wait for someone to introduce me to people, I would be sitting there forever.
Again, she asked me, "So, do you think you can be the kind of person we need?" to which I finally answered, "Uhhhh, no? I mean, I feel like I am a defendant being pressured to sign a plea bargain here. So I guess the answer you want is no, I can't be that kind of person?" She told me that I could leave early and take the weekend off, and that even if I decided I couldn't be what they needed, that I could stay and at least finish the worksheet - to which Paul replied, "IF he can get it done." Nice, the icing on the cake.
So, after going in on Saturday to clean out all my stuff, and finding out that they had already locked me out of my computer, I went in on Monday (after another interview with Noteworthy Medical) and told them that I could not be the person they needed, and that it was probably best for me to be on my way. I really wanted to lay it on them about how shitty I thought they had done me, but I didn't. I did send an email later that basically let them know how unhappy I was with the way they handled it, and that was that. That was Monday, June 6th, and as of today, Wednesday, June 22nd, I am still unemployed. For many people, that may not seem like a long time, but for me, it feels like forever.
What has made it really hard too is that the day I left BGA, that Monday morning, I went in to Noteworthy - where I had interviewed before when I was looking to leave Banner - and met with another person there named Paul for a diferent position that had come open. Seeing as how I had already met and interviewed with Werner, and had a technical interview, I figured this was a shoe-in. But apparently, the day after the interview, their new CEO enacted a hiring freeze, and for the last 2 and a half weeks, they have been trying to get approval to hire me. In the meantime, I have been on 4 other interviews - 2 of which decided they wanted someone with more experience (DriveTime and Concord), one which wanted Sharepoint 2010 experience (Global Water), and one I am still waiting to here back on (a contracting position with ADOT).
I am getting a bit scared now though, because as I look through the jobs posted on Dice and CareerBuilder, and after all the interviews, it seems that having worked only on INTRANET sites at Banner, and not on INTERNET sites really hampered and stunted my development and experience as a developer, particularly as far as things like SSL, web services, and Http Modules go. Now, I am sweating a bit, wondering if I even have the skills to apply for the jobs I am. I am starting to question my core abilities. Which is not a good place to be.
Fortunately, as almost always seems to be the case, I have an appointment with Diana tonight, right when I need one most. And Debbie has been great through all this, giving me love, support and encouragement. I have tried to keep my head up, which hasn't always been easy, and have been hitting the gym regularly whenever I get too down and bored. Galen is staying with Alex for the foreseeable future, and Tessi has been at Carrie's or her mom's all summer so far, so that has taken some pressure off as far as buying groceries and such. So I am trying to maintain a positive attitude, be patient and have faith that everything will work out.
I actually just got a call from Keith, the recruiter at Noteworthy Medical Systems, and he said that the CEO - Heinrich - is supposed to be in Phoenix this week, and Werner is planning on meeting with him, so he is thinking they will be able to make me an official offer Friday. He also reiterated that both Paul and Werner really liked me, and that Paul was excited to get me on board. That is nice to hear. Now, if I could only get an actual OFFER. I know, I know - patience... patience is the key right now. That, and keeping financially afloat. So far, I am ok. But if I don't get an offer by Friday, things are going to start getting shaky. Lord help me - seriously! Lol.
