Let the new era BEGIN - thank GOD!

Well, I got the call I was hoping for yesterday - I was offered the BA position at GCU. YES! Not only that, but they are offering more $$$ than I actually asked for - $75K instead of the 70K I asked for. What a blessing. You know, it's kinda' funny : I have had this fortune from a fortune cookie taped to the top of my monitor here for some time now, and it really seems to have come true. It reads : "No obstacles will stand in the way of your success this year." Indeed, there were many obstacles to success this year : the loss of merit increases at Banner; the difficulties at BGA; the loss of that job and the extended (for me) 5 weeks of unemployment; the loss of ambition for coding here at Sage, no doubt hurried along by the extreme micro-management John practices; the searching for a BA position with no real, extended experience as a BA. I mean, if those aren't some obstacles...!

Yet, through it all, it seems as though I have come to a place that I thought I might not be able to reach - a place of finally being able to make a career change, and miraculously, with no seemingly ill effects or major disruptions to my income. For awhile there, I had almost completely given up on being able to do so. In fact, I was even applying for help desk positions - ones in which I would have made half of what I do now - just to get out of coding. And here I sit today with an offer for more than I am currently making, with a great company, with awesome benefits, and in the field of education. Does it get any better than that?

Of course I realize that there are still many challenges to be faced on the road ahead. There are many unknowns that I will have to contend with. And there is no certainty that I will like working at GCU, or even like being a BA. But I just keep thinking of the fortune stuck on my monitor. It has become a mantra to me, and I actually find myself repeating it at times, reminding myself of the hope it holds. Something tells me that 'this year' is going to become every year, as I plan on keeping that little fortune cookie fortune and instilling that mantra deep within my psyche. It's about time for me to enjoy some success and be able to navigate the obstacles to get there. Of course, I don't do any of it alone, and I am very grateful to my HP for always being there for, and with me. 

Movin' on - hopefully soon

Over the course of the last month or so, I have solidified my belief that I don't want to be a code monkey anymore and taken the first steps to actively seeking a position as a business analyst. There have a been a number of days recently when I have just not wanted to come in to work, and when I do, I can hardly stand to think that I have to sit here at the PC and code all day - again. So, instead of just whining about it and hoping things will magically change, I sent out some emails to recruiters I have worked with in the past asking about BA positions.

I got a bite quicker than I thought I would and actually went on an interview yesterday for a junior-mid level BA position with Grand Canyon University. The people I interviewed with seemed super nice, and I am hopeful that I will get an offer. The benefits are excellent, and both of the directors I talked with, one of whom I would be working under (they actually have 2 positions open, so I could end up working for either of them) seemed extremely friendly and honest. I was thinking I might hear something today, but if not today then definitely Monday. Of course me, being the ever-patient person, am ok waiting as long as I need to... Ha ha ha! In all reality though, I am ok if I don't hear back today. I have a job, and although it's not what I would prefer to be doing, it isn't unbearable either.

The nice thing is, if I don't get the position at least I know that there are some positions out there for which I might be a good fit. And there are some hiring managers who will be willing to interview me even though I haven't been in a pure BA position before. I have also learned that I actually did do a lot of BA-type duties when I was at Banner, and even when I was at Blue Cross Blue Shield - I just never really thought about them that way. I am going to re-do my resume' if necessary to highlight those skills and am positive that I could get something.

And as much as I convinced myself a year or 2 ago that I wouldn't be happy in a BA position - probably more as a means of coping with the fact that I didn't get it (at Banner) - I know see that it is a much better fit for my personality style and offers a much clearer path to upper management or other advancement opportunities. It seems to me that sitting in a cube coding, I am never really going to go anywhere. And knowing developers like I do, I have no desire to be a director of development. I don't think I have thick enough skin and the mettle to do it without just hating it.

It feels good to have finally made an actual decision about this, as I have been pondering it and going back and forth for some time.  Most people I have talked to in the field have told me that I ought to stay in development, that the job security and demand is better, and that it's harder to find someone who can code than it is a BA. That caused me to tell myself a lot of fear stories, which in turn kept me from pursuing it further. Bit I remembered something someone told me along the way - and that is that no matter what you do, if you are passionate about it and do it with excellence, you will always be able to get a job. Not only that, but  I believe that doing something that is actually enjoyable, or allows me to utilize my other talents such as writing and speaking will open up several doors and opportunities that would otherwise go undiscovered.

I am honestly thinking I am going to get an offer from GCU, be it today or Monday. So I am not going to go too far into "if I don't...." just yet. Instead, I am going to be patient, think positive, and enjoy my afternoon. I am looking forward to spending a nice weekend with my fiance', and life is really good - way better than I could ever have imagined it would be at this point in my life, especially considering the 17 year 'detour' I took! Lol! I am grateful to God, the Universe, my HP, and whoever/whatever else might be responsible for the Grace I experience in my life. Blessed, I am, and my gratitude is unending : )

Revelation.. about development

So I originally put this in an email to Deb, but it was so profound, I thought I ought to capture it for posterity :

You know, I have had a bit of a revelation this morning, and I thought I would share it with you : I have noticed since I have been a developer that communication, most of the time, really sucks between coworkers in this position. I can’t count how many times I have sent out an email to an entire team – in this case, more than 20 people – and had either no one at all, or if I am lucky one person reply to it. I always wondered to myself, why is that? Surely at least 2 or 3 other people out there know the answer I am looking for, or at least have some insight they could provide.

This morning, while pondering that and thinking at the same time what a man crush BB has on the jscript guys (at least the one for sure) it hit me – no one wants to reply because they are afraid that they will say something, no matter how small or insignificant, that will make them look stupid, or at least “not as smart as”, and in this job, everyone is scared of that. There are those few people who just don’t care, and they are the ones that tend to reply and be helpful. But the majority all want to be seen as super intelligent so that, if they can’t be the “chosen one”, the one the boss loves, they can hopefully at least avoid being someone the boss constantly patronizes and talks down to because they have been exposed as not knowing everything. And so in playing favorites, and worshipping those who do things that wow them while patronizing, marginalizing and talking down to those who don’t, bosses create an environment that does the exact opposite of fostering collaboration and creativity. Instead, it creates an atmosphere of competition and self-protection where people hold back on being helpful for fear of being “exposed” as being fallible.

Big news! We got engaged. But this post is about coding - ugh

Ok, so I would be a horrible excuse for a romantic if I didn't first announce that I asked Debbie to marry me on Oct 19th, and she accepted. So we are now officially engaged. It's funny - I read that last post, and thought, "kind of ironic to be posting next that we are getting engaged!" Lol. But, to her, and our credit, we went to see Diana, learned some new communication techniques, and have really been working to improve our communication. There have still been some rough patches, but there has been improvement too. And I do love her with all my heart - no woman has ever made me laugh as much as she does, and none has made me as happy. That, combined with the fact that she is willing to admit (eventually! Lol) that she was wrong and work to improve it. And of course it doesn't hurt that she is absolutely beautiful, and we have an awesome sex life! haha

Having said that, and been a good boy, I now want to go on to the big conundrum I have been dealing with for the past year or so, and especially over the last 3 or 4 months : I AM SICK OF CODING! There, I said it. I am tired of sitting in a cubicle all day, staring at a computer screen, and typing lines of code in to make it do stuff. I am tired of working on something so utterly complex - as the current product I am working on is - and at the same time so completely boring. I am tired of having to think so hard all the time to produce what, to me, is so ungratifying. I feel exaclty how the main character in Office Space felt - or pretty damn close anyway. I am thinking that a stint at Taco Bell or Wal Mart would be pretty awesome right now.

Much to my dismay, I have been finding out that it is not so easy to move into some other role in IT, such as that of a business analyst or something. I tried at Banner, thought I would be a shoein, and was told that they wanted someone with more actual BA experience. I have reached out to some recruiters to let them know how I feel, and only one has actually gotten back to me with any real interest. I even went to DeVry awhile back and spoke to Paul, one of the career counselors, only to have him convince me to stay in development. But I don't want to! Bleh hehhhh!

Thing is, the money is decent. And the job demand has been steady, even when the economy is bad. I am very gratful for that and know that there are a lot of people out there that would kill for that - so I can't really "complain" per se. But I am beginning to think that all of that is not really as important as my overall life satisfaction is. Heck, I had more job satisfaction when I worked in the warehouse at Galco. There were days I would come home tired, from a job well done, and know that I had actually done something. In this job, as so many others, the kudos are few and far between. And when there is not that feeling of a hard day's work, and some visible result that actually means something - well, it's just not satisfying.

So what the hell do I do? Well, I am in communication with one recruiter who seems to be at least a little interested in helping me out. I am also seriously thinking about posting an ad on craigslist or something like that advertising myself and what I want. And I am also thinking about going back to school next year, and to get a masters in something that will get me out of the heads-down coding that I have come to dislike so. And, a little prayer or 2 wouldn't hurt, I'm sure.

I have faith that something will eventually come along. I have the love and support of a good woman, and the reassurance that when we are living together, I won't need to make quite as much as I need to now. So it will work out - I know it will. I just need to be patient, have faith, and keep trying. If all else fails, I might need to call in some lingering "Burrito Master" favors! Lol