Just when I thought I was destined - or after the events of this weekend - doomed, to end up with a woman named Michelle, a ray of sunshine broke through the M cloud in the form of a woman named Dana. I sent her a message through POF, she replied, and we ended up texting back and forth this weekend, even chatting on the phone Saturday night. She looks to be very pretty from her pictures on POF - a brunette with beautiful blue eyes (always LOVED that combination). She is a fellow Taurus and seems to be pretty put together. Of course, we will see about that as time goes by, as I have thought that about other women only to find out it wasn't completely true. We are going to meet Weds night for coffee, and I am pretty excited about it to be honest. I just re-read my "rules" though, and am trying to remind myself to go SLOW! Ha ha!
I met the other woman I was texting, Shelli, yesterday, and she was very nice. I noticed right off the bat that she has a large tattoo on the back of her neck that extends down her upper back, so that was a bit of a turn-off, as I am not big on tattoos, especially on women. All in all, she was very sweet, but I didn't feel any real physical attraction. I am not really sure how to proceed, as she is really nice, and I don't want to just summarily blow her off. I will have to contemplate that. Typically, the MO has been to just cease contact - both on my side, and the woman's. If the other person isn't interested, they just don't contact the other one anymore. I would feel kinda' bad doing that with her though, so I want to come up with something better.
And now on to the piece de resistance - the outcome with Michelle, the one I was so hopeful about after receiving the text from her while camping. Here is a woman that I think is more messed up and manipulative than me! Lol. Here I am texting and emailing her, all concerned that something is horribly wrong with her. So I text her orig phone Satruday night in yet another effort to find out if she is ok, and I get back a simple, "No worries. I'm ok." WTF?!?!?! I have had actual concern and worry for her, and turns out she is fine, just been a little sick?
That in and of itself was enough to make me a little irritated. But then, I ask her about maybe seeing her again, and she says that she is burnt out on men, that she doesn't want to see anyone for awhile. I reminded her that SHE sent me the text saying that stuff about "fizzling" and about my email rocking her world, and she says "sorry if I confused you." Ok - at this point, I am thinking that either A. This woman has no concept of the dynamics of communication between single men and women, or B. This lady is extremely manipulative, and possibly even shizophrenic. So I sent her a text to clarify once and for all, stating that I did not want her to text me again unless she was interested in seeing me again. To which she replied she was going to delete all my contact info from her phone. Fine - great - whatever! I think she truly belongs with that guy Ryan - that they are made for each other, and I hope they have a wonderful life together! Ha ha!
So the adventure continues, with the next chapter yet to be written. Will Dana be promising? Will we have a good meetup? Will I be attracted to her? Will she be attracted to me? Only time will tell. One thing is sure though - whatever happens, it is bound to be interesting! Lol
Monday, June 7, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
Don't.... want.... to..... work......
Ugh! I am having SUCH a hard time getting motivated to do ANY coding today. A couple of years ago I would have felt really guilty about my complete lack of enthusiasm and production. But I have learned over time that for me to properly align my production rate with the flow of time in IT, I need to actually take some time - a fairly good amount of time - to do things other than work on my projects.
In the past, I would go gung ho at stuff, get it done, and then have to sit around frustrated that I didn't have anything else to do. So I would go to my boss at the time and ask for more work. Now I thought this was a good thing, that it would show them how hard a worker I was, and that they would love me for it. But what I found was just the opposite - that they really found it more annoying than anything else, and instead of endearing me with them, it got me on their bad sides.
So for awhile, I just got all resentful about it, and thought that I was just too hard a worker, that everyone else was bums, and that maybe I was in the wrong profession. But as time went by, I started to see that that is just the way it is in this industry - feast or famine, slower than hell or balls to the wall, nothing to do or too much to possibly do. So, instead of fighting this inherent property, I have learned to adjust to it. And part of that is allowing myself some time, sometimes even a day or more, to just let everything fall back into synch.
The biggest thing I had to overcome was the guilt I felt about it. Coming from blue collar jobs, it was very hard to understand and embrace the concept of doing nothing basically, producing nothing of import, and instead of getting yelled at for it, getting paid. But I no longer feel guilty about it, and I have come to accept what is, and that I am not cheating anyone, I am merely being a "part of," and adapting my work habits to my environment. And to be honest, I quite enjoy my job now.
And it has worked spectacularly well. I have been in my current position for over 2 years now (a record for me!) and I think my boss and the people here genuinely like and respect me. I have a great cube (one of the best - of not the best - in the joint in my opinion) and a base of customers who love me. My boss does not micromanage me, and trusts me to get stuff done on time and within scope. I have a nice little group of "lunch buddies" that I eat with, and I even hang out and so stuff with some of them outside of work occasionally. Yes, my life - my work life - is better than it has ever been. And I am extremely grateful. Very, very, VERY grateful.
So I only have question now on this wonderful Friday morning : Is it lunch time yet?!?! Ha ha ha ha!
In the past, I would go gung ho at stuff, get it done, and then have to sit around frustrated that I didn't have anything else to do. So I would go to my boss at the time and ask for more work. Now I thought this was a good thing, that it would show them how hard a worker I was, and that they would love me for it. But what I found was just the opposite - that they really found it more annoying than anything else, and instead of endearing me with them, it got me on their bad sides.
So for awhile, I just got all resentful about it, and thought that I was just too hard a worker, that everyone else was bums, and that maybe I was in the wrong profession. But as time went by, I started to see that that is just the way it is in this industry - feast or famine, slower than hell or balls to the wall, nothing to do or too much to possibly do. So, instead of fighting this inherent property, I have learned to adjust to it. And part of that is allowing myself some time, sometimes even a day or more, to just let everything fall back into synch.
The biggest thing I had to overcome was the guilt I felt about it. Coming from blue collar jobs, it was very hard to understand and embrace the concept of doing nothing basically, producing nothing of import, and instead of getting yelled at for it, getting paid. But I no longer feel guilty about it, and I have come to accept what is, and that I am not cheating anyone, I am merely being a "part of," and adapting my work habits to my environment. And to be honest, I quite enjoy my job now.
And it has worked spectacularly well. I have been in my current position for over 2 years now (a record for me!) and I think my boss and the people here genuinely like and respect me. I have a great cube (one of the best - of not the best - in the joint in my opinion) and a base of customers who love me. My boss does not micromanage me, and trusts me to get stuff done on time and within scope. I have a nice little group of "lunch buddies" that I eat with, and I even hang out and so stuff with some of them outside of work occasionally. Yes, my life - my work life - is better than it has ever been. And I am extremely grateful. Very, very, VERY grateful.
So I only have question now on this wonderful Friday morning : Is it lunch time yet?!?! Ha ha ha ha!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
The "Michelle" syndrome...
Ok, so first there was the Michelle I wrote about in the last post, the one that I saw twice and shared an awesome kiss with. Then there was the Michele that I was corresponding with over the last week or so who used more f-bombs than a drunken sailor and had all the passion of a footstool (sorry, that seems harsh, but she really was lacking any 'verve'). So that's 2 Michelles, pretty much in a row (with a brief Ty interlude).
So a couple of days ago I make contact with a new woman on pof - a woman named Shelli. We start emailing back and forth, and before long, she reveals that her real name is - wait for it... wait for it.... YES! Michelle! Now I am no statistician, but it seems to me that the odds of dating three completely different women, all in a row basically, who all have the same first name are very, very low. I am starting to think that should be one on my filter parameters, or perhaps one of my "must haves" - why fight it, right?
This newest Michelle - Shelli - seems pretty neat. She definitely has a sense of humor and some real personality. We talked on the phone for the first time last night and it went really well - very easy and fun to talk to. We are set to meet on Sunday at Tempe Marketplace, so we'll see if there is any chemistry there. My only concern at this point - and it's a pretty goofy one, especially considering the fact that I don't believe in astrology all that strongly - is that I am a Taurus and she is an Aquarius. And all of the stuff I have found so far on the compatibility of the 2 signs say that it is a very difficult match, and that there is very little chance of things working out.... NOW, all of them did say that the sexual chemistry between these 2 signs is pretty fantastic, and one even said that it is so good that it can even override some of the other diffculties! Yyyyeaaahhhhh... So you just KNOW that I am going to ride this one out (total punuendo intended) to at least check that out! (hopefully)
What else is going on... well, I found out how to make some adjustments to my bike on this cool site I found and joined, GZ250bike.com. They have an awesome forum, and I found some info about adjusting the rear break lever (which seemed to be WAY too high on my bike) as well as the shift lever (which seemed to be way too low for me). So I made adjustments to both of them, and it is so much nicer - and safer - to ride now! Turns out the rear brake lever was completely out of whack and wasn't even resting on the adjustment screw at all - that's why it was so high.
Everything else is going well. Galen is feeling better, Tess is doing well, and I am pretty darned peachy myself. I have made contact with a number of different woman on pof and am enjoying "playing the field" a bit. On a side note, I have heard nothing - no email, no text, no nothing - from Michelle since last Friday. I am wondering if she isn't on vacation, maybe out of country or something. I hope she is ok. Hopefully she will contact me soon.
One last item of note - I have been sticking faithfully to my morning meditation time, about 10 minutes every morning, and really enjoying it. I think I am more calm, centered and serene when incorporating it into my morning. So I am going to keep it up. Think that's all for now - the adventure continues....
So a couple of days ago I make contact with a new woman on pof - a woman named Shelli. We start emailing back and forth, and before long, she reveals that her real name is - wait for it... wait for it.... YES! Michelle! Now I am no statistician, but it seems to me that the odds of dating three completely different women, all in a row basically, who all have the same first name are very, very low. I am starting to think that should be one on my filter parameters, or perhaps one of my "must haves" - why fight it, right?
This newest Michelle - Shelli - seems pretty neat. She definitely has a sense of humor and some real personality. We talked on the phone for the first time last night and it went really well - very easy and fun to talk to. We are set to meet on Sunday at Tempe Marketplace, so we'll see if there is any chemistry there. My only concern at this point - and it's a pretty goofy one, especially considering the fact that I don't believe in astrology all that strongly - is that I am a Taurus and she is an Aquarius. And all of the stuff I have found so far on the compatibility of the 2 signs say that it is a very difficult match, and that there is very little chance of things working out.... NOW, all of them did say that the sexual chemistry between these 2 signs is pretty fantastic, and one even said that it is so good that it can even override some of the other diffculties! Yyyyeaaahhhhh... So you just KNOW that I am going to ride this one out (total punuendo intended) to at least check that out! (hopefully)
What else is going on... well, I found out how to make some adjustments to my bike on this cool site I found and joined, GZ250bike.com. They have an awesome forum, and I found some info about adjusting the rear break lever (which seemed to be WAY too high on my bike) as well as the shift lever (which seemed to be way too low for me). So I made adjustments to both of them, and it is so much nicer - and safer - to ride now! Turns out the rear brake lever was completely out of whack and wasn't even resting on the adjustment screw at all - that's why it was so high.
Everything else is going well. Galen is feeling better, Tess is doing well, and I am pretty darned peachy myself. I have made contact with a number of different woman on pof and am enjoying "playing the field" a bit. On a side note, I have heard nothing - no email, no text, no nothing - from Michelle since last Friday. I am wondering if she isn't on vacation, maybe out of country or something. I hope she is ok. Hopefully she will contact me soon.
One last item of note - I have been sticking faithfully to my morning meditation time, about 10 minutes every morning, and really enjoying it. I think I am more calm, centered and serene when incorporating it into my morning. So I am going to keep it up. Think that's all for now - the adventure continues....
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Memorial Day Weekend, Michelle, and other happenings...
This weekend we - Tess, Galen and I - went up to Dogtown Lake and went camping with Marsh and Kristina, Mike and Teri, and about 4 or 5 families they know. It was fun, although I felt a little awkward, as the families they camped with were not overly friendly or welcoming - at least not as I saw it. Galen got sick the first night we were up there, and ran a 104ยบ temperature. We gave him some ibuprofen, but it was still pretty high Saturday morning, so I ran him into Williams to the urgent care center. They prescribed him some amoxicillin, but the poor kid basically spent the whole weekend sleeping on a bed in Mike and Teri's trailer.
I kinda' started to bad trip on the situation Saturday night, and popped off a little bit on Marshal and Kristina, telling them how I felt out of place, like we were 'encroaching' on those other families, and that I was considering leaving Saturday night. I basically ended up just staying in the tent all night and sleeping/meditating. I actually had a pretty powerful meditation in which I realized that there was something to be learned from all this, that I wanted to make a concerted effort to be extremely welcoming and friendly to people I did not know in future situations. I woke up in a much better mood Sunday morning, and promply apologized to M & K. Ironically enough, I sat down next to some of the people from the other families, and they actually said hi and visited with me. Go figure!
While Galen was sick, Tessi had a great time. She got a chance to do a lot of driving on the Rhino and she got quite a kick out of that. She put 6 miles on Saturday and really did a great job. I think she is going to make a pretty good driver when she gets to be that age.
I think the biggest news of the weekend for me however was getting a text from Michelle - the one that I felt so bad about screwing things up with. She basically was just saying "hi" and that she was going to be on a temporary cell for a couple of weeks and wanted me to have the number. I was a little surprised, as she was going out with someone else, and basically told her that in a text. Then, in a rather shocking turn of events, she texted back, saying that "the relationship had fizzled a bit" and that my emails had "rocked her world a bit." Well I was of course elated, and tried frantically all weekend to get more info from her. But, for whatever reason, she has been completely out of communication since that text Friday night.
So now I am sitting here on pins and needles wondering what exactly is going on, if there is another chance for me, and what is going on with her - why she has been unreachable for the last 3 days, and why her FB profile is gone (I searched for it too, but it looks like it is gone.) I am thinking that maybe she is on vacation or something. But part of me is wondering if she wasn't being stalked by someone like Ryan or something...? I mean, it just seems weird that she wouldn't check her email or cell phone at all, even if she was on vacation.
I have thought long and hard about it, and I really would like another chance with her. She has baggage, yes. But then again, don't we all? She has so much other stuff going for her - some of that stuff physical, things that I have some issues with : no hair on her face, pale skinned, nice chest, well manicured, pretty feet. I mean, there are a lot of things that I have issues with when it comes to dating someone, and she truly has all the right things in all the right places for my taste.
And mentally, spiritually and emotionally speaking, she is beautiful. She is very in touch with her emotions and has no trouble expressing them. She is very generous about communications, and I never feel "ripped off" after sending her an email, because I always get wieghty one back. I can only hope that all is well with her and that I will hear from her soon.
I guess it is worth noting that I am not going to pursue anything with the other "Michele." We were supposed to meet yesterday, but she texted me early in the morning saying she was going golfing, that she would take a raincheck, and that I could "get my laundry done," a reference to a comment I made the night before about not having an open window of time, as I had laundry to do. It is probably for the best, as there were some things that were not too attractive to me with her, not the least of which was her frequent use of f-bombs and other curse words. Also, the way she talked so badly about people. Neither of those are characteristics that I want in someone I date. On top of it all, she seemed very cold - was not fun to flirt with at all.
So I guess now I wait and see what happens with my good Michelle. God willing, and having mercy on me, I will hear from her soon! Lol : )
I kinda' started to bad trip on the situation Saturday night, and popped off a little bit on Marshal and Kristina, telling them how I felt out of place, like we were 'encroaching' on those other families, and that I was considering leaving Saturday night. I basically ended up just staying in the tent all night and sleeping/meditating. I actually had a pretty powerful meditation in which I realized that there was something to be learned from all this, that I wanted to make a concerted effort to be extremely welcoming and friendly to people I did not know in future situations. I woke up in a much better mood Sunday morning, and promply apologized to M & K. Ironically enough, I sat down next to some of the people from the other families, and they actually said hi and visited with me. Go figure!
While Galen was sick, Tessi had a great time. She got a chance to do a lot of driving on the Rhino and she got quite a kick out of that. She put 6 miles on Saturday and really did a great job. I think she is going to make a pretty good driver when she gets to be that age.
I think the biggest news of the weekend for me however was getting a text from Michelle - the one that I felt so bad about screwing things up with. She basically was just saying "hi" and that she was going to be on a temporary cell for a couple of weeks and wanted me to have the number. I was a little surprised, as she was going out with someone else, and basically told her that in a text. Then, in a rather shocking turn of events, she texted back, saying that "the relationship had fizzled a bit" and that my emails had "rocked her world a bit." Well I was of course elated, and tried frantically all weekend to get more info from her. But, for whatever reason, she has been completely out of communication since that text Friday night.
So now I am sitting here on pins and needles wondering what exactly is going on, if there is another chance for me, and what is going on with her - why she has been unreachable for the last 3 days, and why her FB profile is gone (I searched for it too, but it looks like it is gone.) I am thinking that maybe she is on vacation or something. But part of me is wondering if she wasn't being stalked by someone like Ryan or something...? I mean, it just seems weird that she wouldn't check her email or cell phone at all, even if she was on vacation.
I have thought long and hard about it, and I really would like another chance with her. She has baggage, yes. But then again, don't we all? She has so much other stuff going for her - some of that stuff physical, things that I have some issues with : no hair on her face, pale skinned, nice chest, well manicured, pretty feet. I mean, there are a lot of things that I have issues with when it comes to dating someone, and she truly has all the right things in all the right places for my taste.
And mentally, spiritually and emotionally speaking, she is beautiful. She is very in touch with her emotions and has no trouble expressing them. She is very generous about communications, and I never feel "ripped off" after sending her an email, because I always get wieghty one back. I can only hope that all is well with her and that I will hear from her soon.
I guess it is worth noting that I am not going to pursue anything with the other "Michele." We were supposed to meet yesterday, but she texted me early in the morning saying she was going golfing, that she would take a raincheck, and that I could "get my laundry done," a reference to a comment I made the night before about not having an open window of time, as I had laundry to do. It is probably for the best, as there were some things that were not too attractive to me with her, not the least of which was her frequent use of f-bombs and other curse words. Also, the way she talked so badly about people. Neither of those are characteristics that I want in someone I date. On top of it all, she seemed very cold - was not fun to flirt with at all.
So I guess now I wait and see what happens with my good Michelle. God willing, and having mercy on me, I will hear from her soon! Lol : )
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Am I following my rules...?
I just got done changing the template of my blog back to what it originally was - minima lefty, I think. I tried another one, I think it was "The Scribe," but I like this one better.
So I have been corresponding with Michele quite a bit over the last 3 or 4 days, and it has been a lot of fun. She seems - I almost wrote "she seems like a nice ladt," but that sounds so generic, and doesn't really capture the essence I want to capture. She is a redhead, and like the old saying goes, she really is quite fiery! Maybe not so much as far as like being sexy/sensual (not yet anyway) but very much so in being independent, outspoken, and - what's the word for it? I guess just plain old fiery! There are some people at her work that torque her off, and she tells it just like it is. She really cracks me up.
It is obvious that she is very independent and definitely her own woman. She doesn't want to be, and isn't, dependent on some man. She knows what she wants and doesn't mince words. She's not afraid to throw a curse word out when it is needed, but isn't completely vulgar. And I am really enjoying our correspondence. She doesn't communicate quite as prolifically as someone like Ty, but I am ok with that now. She also comes off as a little cold, or maybe hesitant to get to flirty or intimate right off the bat, and I am ok with that too. In fact, it fits in perfectly with my new rules.
We are set to meet f2f for the first time this Monday for brunch or something. I am looking forward to it, and trying to remember at the same time to just enjoy it for what it is - a first meeting with a woman - and not pick out the ring and book the church 5 mins after meeting! Ha ha! Sounds crazy, but I honestly think that's where my head goes sometimes when first meeting a woman, especially if I am attracted to her.
WE (Galen, Tessi and I) are headed up to Dogtown Reservoir north of Williams this weekend to go camping with M & K, her parents, and big group of their friends they always go camping with. It should be fun. We are leaving tomorrow morning, and while they will all stay longer, we will be coming back Sunday afternoon. I can't stand fighting the traffic that will inevtiably exist on Monday, and besides - I have a hot date to get back to now ; ) Or so I hope anyway.
Ok - now I have to find something else to do to kill some time - only 3 and half more hours to go!!! Lol
So I have been corresponding with Michele quite a bit over the last 3 or 4 days, and it has been a lot of fun. She seems - I almost wrote "she seems like a nice ladt," but that sounds so generic, and doesn't really capture the essence I want to capture. She is a redhead, and like the old saying goes, she really is quite fiery! Maybe not so much as far as like being sexy/sensual (not yet anyway) but very much so in being independent, outspoken, and - what's the word for it? I guess just plain old fiery! There are some people at her work that torque her off, and she tells it just like it is. She really cracks me up.
It is obvious that she is very independent and definitely her own woman. She doesn't want to be, and isn't, dependent on some man. She knows what she wants and doesn't mince words. She's not afraid to throw a curse word out when it is needed, but isn't completely vulgar. And I am really enjoying our correspondence. She doesn't communicate quite as prolifically as someone like Ty, but I am ok with that now. She also comes off as a little cold, or maybe hesitant to get to flirty or intimate right off the bat, and I am ok with that too. In fact, it fits in perfectly with my new rules.
We are set to meet f2f for the first time this Monday for brunch or something. I am looking forward to it, and trying to remember at the same time to just enjoy it for what it is - a first meeting with a woman - and not pick out the ring and book the church 5 mins after meeting! Ha ha! Sounds crazy, but I honestly think that's where my head goes sometimes when first meeting a woman, especially if I am attracted to her.
WE (Galen, Tessi and I) are headed up to Dogtown Reservoir north of Williams this weekend to go camping with M & K, her parents, and big group of their friends they always go camping with. It should be fun. We are leaving tomorrow morning, and while they will all stay longer, we will be coming back Sunday afternoon. I can't stand fighting the traffic that will inevtiably exist on Monday, and besides - I have a hot date to get back to now ; ) Or so I hope anyway.
Ok - now I have to find something else to do to kill some time - only 3 and half more hours to go!!! Lol
Monday, May 24, 2010
Uhhh... it's Monday (or Kev's Rules for Dating)
Yeahh.... that's all I could really think of for a title, cuz, well - it's Monday! I had a nice weekend this weekend. The weather was absolutely gorgeous, and I got some nice riding in. Got a new tire Saturday, went out to Cherry Blossom Noodle cafe with Tori Saturday night, went to see Macgruber with Galen and Derek yesterday, and emailed with some lady I met on plentyoffish.com who actually sent me her phone number and asked if I'd like to talk sometime - score! ha ha! I am reminding myself this time though, before it EVEN gets started, GO SLLLOOWWWWWW Kevin... easy boy.
She does seem sweet, and ironically enough, her name is Michele, with one 'L'. She has one - well, 2 things really going for her right off the bat : 1, she is a redhead, and for whatever reason, I have really developed this thing for redheads, and 2, she is like 45 years old - older lady, and I have ALWAYS preferred older women. So we'll see what happens. I am not going to go getting my hopes all up though. I think - God, please tell me! - that I have learned my lesson(s) about all this dating stuff. Here are some things I need to remember, "Kevin's New Guidelines/Rules/Reminders for Dating" if you will :
1. Don't fall in love and go obsessive with the first woman who makes contact, or I make contact with.
2. Don't seem too desperate, and send a million communications off the bat - give the woman some chances to make her move too. The chase is good for both.
3. Don't divulge too much on a first date - leave something for the next date, if there is one.
4. GO SLOW - there's no need to rush into a committed relationship after one date, EVEN IF SHE WANTS TO.
5. REMEMBER STEP 4, EVEN IF THE OPPORTUNITY TO HAVE SEX PRESENTS ITSELF. The sex might be great, but will be temporary, and could mess up future chances.
6. Don't make the mistake of thinking that the conditions that exist in the beginning of a relationship - the constant texting and emailing, the excitement, the enthusiasm - will continue with the same intensity as the relationship proceeds.
7. Don't say "I love you" too soon, even if the woman says it first (NOTE: I need to think of some smart method of responding to such a situation that neither misleads the woman, nor misleads her... hmmmmm...)
That's all I can think of for now, but this will be an ever-expanding list I am sure. In fact, I think I will see if I can make a "widget" out of it so it can be presented at all times on my blog. I need to see it, and see it often!
Today is a great day - and that's all I have to say about that : )
She does seem sweet, and ironically enough, her name is Michele, with one 'L'. She has one - well, 2 things really going for her right off the bat : 1, she is a redhead, and for whatever reason, I have really developed this thing for redheads, and 2, she is like 45 years old - older lady, and I have ALWAYS preferred older women. So we'll see what happens. I am not going to go getting my hopes all up though. I think - God, please tell me! - that I have learned my lesson(s) about all this dating stuff. Here are some things I need to remember, "Kevin's New Guidelines/Rules/Reminders for Dating" if you will :
1. Don't fall in love and go obsessive with the first woman who makes contact, or I make contact with.
2. Don't seem too desperate, and send a million communications off the bat - give the woman some chances to make her move too. The chase is good for both.
3. Don't divulge too much on a first date - leave something for the next date, if there is one.
4. GO SLOW - there's no need to rush into a committed relationship after one date, EVEN IF SHE WANTS TO.
5. REMEMBER STEP 4, EVEN IF THE OPPORTUNITY TO HAVE SEX PRESENTS ITSELF. The sex might be great, but will be temporary, and could mess up future chances.
6. Don't make the mistake of thinking that the conditions that exist in the beginning of a relationship - the constant texting and emailing, the excitement, the enthusiasm - will continue with the same intensity as the relationship proceeds.
7. Don't say "I love you" too soon, even if the woman says it first (NOTE: I need to think of some smart method of responding to such a situation that neither misleads the woman, nor misleads her... hmmmmm...)
That's all I can think of for now, but this will be an ever-expanding list I am sure. In fact, I think I will see if I can make a "widget" out of it so it can be presented at all times on my blog. I need to see it, and see it often!
Today is a great day - and that's all I have to say about that : )
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Made it Alive
Well, whoda thunk it. Here I am, 40 years old today, sober, healthy (healthier than I have ever been actually) and relatively happy. I honestly thought, actually hoped for some time, that I would never make it to this age. Yet, here I am, and I am actually grateful to be alive today. What a gift that is.
It's weird how the older we get, the less and less important our birthdays seem, and the fewer number of people who actually know about them. Of course, all my family back in SD remembered and sent me cards. Mom and I are still on the outs, so I didn't really expect anything from her. And to be honest, I really don't tell people it is my birthday, so I can't really expect anyone to know, can I? Lol! I figure I will take the kids out to Red Lobster tonight to celebrate, especially considering the fact that the Universe decided to bless me with the gift of getting my amended tax refund, $665, in the mail yesterday. Woo hoo! How cool is that for a b-day present? It is also interesting to note that today, for the first time ever, they are honoring people whose birthdays fall between Jan and May with cake in the breakroom. It's really weird, as it just happens to fall directly on my b-day : another neat little coincidence :)
Ok, so I have to share something here that happened last night, if only to mark the momentous occasion : last night, after the new meeting I have been attending on Monday nights at the Mennonite Church on 7th St. north of Dunlap, I spoke with one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen, much less actually talked to. And I don't say this exaggeratingly (is that even a word?). When I first saw her last week, my immediate reaction was "oh my goodness - she is Brooke Shields when she was in her prime..." Long, gorgeous brunette hair; exotic, deep eyes; a fantastic figure; just beautiful. She was the last person to share, and I was SO hoping she would get the chance to, as time was winding down as the lady before her shared, and I kept thinking 'wrap it up so I can hear her!' Haha!
When she spoke, she mentioned that she had spent some time in a Zen Buddhist monastery, and I knew I would just have to ask her about that. I was legitimately curious, and jumping at the "in" that had manifested. So I walked up to her after the meeting got out and asked her about it. I was expecting a little one or 2 word response, and then a quick walk-away as so often happens with beautiful women like her when I approach them and try to talk to them. But instead, we ended up standing there in the parking lot for almost half an hour talking about Buddhism, the Program, her sobriety, etc. I must admit, I was basking in the ecstasy of being so close to, and actually visiting with, such a beautiful woman. And she is pretty deep too - not just a pretty face.
She went on to mention that she has a boyfriend who is an attorney (shouldn't be a surprise, right?), that he is a normie, and that they go to a lot of events where there is drinking and socializing. She said that people in the Program often tell her that she needs to dump him, and I told her that it wouldn't surprise me if some of the men suggested that, thinking that they might be the perfect guy for her! Lol. She was extremely approachable, and I really enjoyed the convo. So, suffice it to say, that I found my dream woman. But, there are 2 major drawbacks/obstacles : 1, she has a boyfriend. 2, she only has 17 days sober.
The thing that really fscinated me was the manner in which she seemed to be so comfortable physically with me. I almost got the impression that she wanted me to hug or hold her...? I know it sounds crazy, but as I was walking to the door of my truck, she seemed to linger around, as if wanting me to pass closely to her, and not really wanting to leave. If I hadn't had the kids waiting at home, I would have asked her out to coffee. Something tells me that her boyfriend doesn't treat her all that great - or at least, she doesn't think he does, or doesn't think that he finds her truly beautiful. I don't know - I am probably reading WAY too much into it, that's just the impression I got.
So yeah, I was a little giddy last night after that, feeling as though I had been given the chance to speak to Cindy Ireland or Brooke Shields or something - and she didn't run away! Ha ha! I tell you whut - if I had a woman like that, I would go to therapy 3 times a day to avoid sabotaging the relationship, buy her flowers once a week, and give thanks and praises to God and all the Universe for delivering me an angel every day. She would NEVER wonder if I thought she was beautiful, as I would tell her every day. And we would live happily ever after! The End.
Hey, everyone has to have a dream, right? And since today is my birthday, I get to make a wish - and I think we all know what that is now... ;)
It's weird how the older we get, the less and less important our birthdays seem, and the fewer number of people who actually know about them. Of course, all my family back in SD remembered and sent me cards. Mom and I are still on the outs, so I didn't really expect anything from her. And to be honest, I really don't tell people it is my birthday, so I can't really expect anyone to know, can I? Lol! I figure I will take the kids out to Red Lobster tonight to celebrate, especially considering the fact that the Universe decided to bless me with the gift of getting my amended tax refund, $665, in the mail yesterday. Woo hoo! How cool is that for a b-day present? It is also interesting to note that today, for the first time ever, they are honoring people whose birthdays fall between Jan and May with cake in the breakroom. It's really weird, as it just happens to fall directly on my b-day : another neat little coincidence :)
Ok, so I have to share something here that happened last night, if only to mark the momentous occasion : last night, after the new meeting I have been attending on Monday nights at the Mennonite Church on 7th St. north of Dunlap, I spoke with one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen, much less actually talked to. And I don't say this exaggeratingly (is that even a word?). When I first saw her last week, my immediate reaction was "oh my goodness - she is Brooke Shields when she was in her prime..." Long, gorgeous brunette hair; exotic, deep eyes; a fantastic figure; just beautiful. She was the last person to share, and I was SO hoping she would get the chance to, as time was winding down as the lady before her shared, and I kept thinking 'wrap it up so I can hear her!' Haha!
When she spoke, she mentioned that she had spent some time in a Zen Buddhist monastery, and I knew I would just have to ask her about that. I was legitimately curious, and jumping at the "in" that had manifested. So I walked up to her after the meeting got out and asked her about it. I was expecting a little one or 2 word response, and then a quick walk-away as so often happens with beautiful women like her when I approach them and try to talk to them. But instead, we ended up standing there in the parking lot for almost half an hour talking about Buddhism, the Program, her sobriety, etc. I must admit, I was basking in the ecstasy of being so close to, and actually visiting with, such a beautiful woman. And she is pretty deep too - not just a pretty face.
She went on to mention that she has a boyfriend who is an attorney (shouldn't be a surprise, right?), that he is a normie, and that they go to a lot of events where there is drinking and socializing. She said that people in the Program often tell her that she needs to dump him, and I told her that it wouldn't surprise me if some of the men suggested that, thinking that they might be the perfect guy for her! Lol. She was extremely approachable, and I really enjoyed the convo. So, suffice it to say, that I found my dream woman. But, there are 2 major drawbacks/obstacles : 1, she has a boyfriend. 2, she only has 17 days sober.
The thing that really fscinated me was the manner in which she seemed to be so comfortable physically with me. I almost got the impression that she wanted me to hug or hold her...? I know it sounds crazy, but as I was walking to the door of my truck, she seemed to linger around, as if wanting me to pass closely to her, and not really wanting to leave. If I hadn't had the kids waiting at home, I would have asked her out to coffee. Something tells me that her boyfriend doesn't treat her all that great - or at least, she doesn't think he does, or doesn't think that he finds her truly beautiful. I don't know - I am probably reading WAY too much into it, that's just the impression I got.
So yeah, I was a little giddy last night after that, feeling as though I had been given the chance to speak to Cindy Ireland or Brooke Shields or something - and she didn't run away! Ha ha! I tell you whut - if I had a woman like that, I would go to therapy 3 times a day to avoid sabotaging the relationship, buy her flowers once a week, and give thanks and praises to God and all the Universe for delivering me an angel every day. She would NEVER wonder if I thought she was beautiful, as I would tell her every day. And we would live happily ever after! The End.
Hey, everyone has to have a dream, right? And since today is my birthday, I get to make a wish - and I think we all know what that is now... ;)
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