Ugh! I am having SUCH a hard time getting motivated to do ANY coding today. A couple of years ago I would have felt really guilty about my complete lack of enthusiasm and production. But I have learned over time that for me to properly align my production rate with the flow of time in IT, I need to actually take some time - a fairly good amount of time - to do things other than work on my projects.
In the past, I would go gung ho at stuff, get it done, and then have to sit around frustrated that I didn't have anything else to do. So I would go to my boss at the time and ask for more work. Now I thought this was a good thing, that it would show them how hard a worker I was, and that they would love me for it. But what I found was just the opposite - that they really found it more annoying than anything else, and instead of endearing me with them, it got me on their bad sides.
So for awhile, I just got all resentful about it, and thought that I was just too hard a worker, that everyone else was bums, and that maybe I was in the wrong profession. But as time went by, I started to see that that is just the way it is in this industry - feast or famine, slower than hell or balls to the wall, nothing to do or too much to possibly do. So, instead of fighting this inherent property, I have learned to adjust to it. And part of that is allowing myself some time, sometimes even a day or more, to just let everything fall back into synch.
The biggest thing I had to overcome was the guilt I felt about it. Coming from blue collar jobs, it was very hard to understand and embrace the concept of doing nothing basically, producing nothing of import, and instead of getting yelled at for it, getting paid. But I no longer feel guilty about it, and I have come to accept what is, and that I am not cheating anyone, I am merely being a "part of," and adapting my work habits to my environment. And to be honest, I quite enjoy my job now.
And it has worked spectacularly well. I have been in my current position for over 2 years now (a record for me!) and I think my boss and the people here genuinely like and respect me. I have a great cube (one of the best - of not the best - in the joint in my opinion) and a base of customers who love me. My boss does not micromanage me, and trusts me to get stuff done on time and within scope. I have a nice little group of "lunch buddies" that I eat with, and I even hang out and so stuff with some of them outside of work occasionally. Yes, my life - my work life - is better than it has ever been. And I am extremely grateful. Very, very, VERY grateful.
So I only have question now on this wonderful Friday morning : Is it lunch time yet?!?! Ha ha ha ha!
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