Well, I had an email from Marsh in my inbox at work today when I got here, asking if I had heard from mom lately. I figured it would take at least 1000 words to even begin to describe what happened on the phone the last time we talked, so I decided to just call him up and talk to him. We have both come to the conclusion that our mother is basically completely crazy, and that for some strange reason, she may never decide to get any help for herself. I told him that I basically, for the first time I can remember, told her as much.
Marshal has a lot of anger towards her - more than I thought he had. It is clear that the things she did when he was young, like going to Colorado to be with Bob Barber and leaving him in AZ with Brian Barber, did have negative emotional effects on him, as they would have on any kid. I don' think she realizes what fuck-up she was for a parent for many years. Or, if she does, she wants to wear it like a badge of honor, and lambast us all with the guilt and shame she feels for it, and she feels that, bcause her "parents were divorced when she was 16" like she has told us a million times, she is justified in doing whatever it is that she decides to do. It is just SOOOO insane - how she can jusify her shortcomings using that reasoning, and yet yell and scream at Marshal and I for what she believes is us using that same reasoning, even when we aren't.
I am not sure what to do at this point, but I did promise Marshal that I will set up a counselling appointment for us all the next time she is in town. In fact, I am going to send her an email about that right now. I have dropped the ball on that, and I don't want to let an opportunity like that pass by. I only hope that she will actually go to the darn thing when I get it set up. Lord help me! And Marshal.....
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