Proceed with Caution

I am pretty brain dead as far as coding goes so I thought I would hit the blog for a bit and capture some of my thoughts about the Ty situation. We went to a movie this Saturday and had a nice time. We saw "Shutter Island" and it was very good. It was nice hanging out together - we had lunch together first and got a chance to talk a bit.

She has been emailing regularly, and I am starting to get the distinct impression that she would like to get back together. She has mentioned a number of times that in her view, her marriage is somewhat in a state of flux, seeing as how her husband is deployed, and she is not sure how things will be when he gets home. Now, to incredibly shallow here, I have to say that if she was still in the shape she was when I last saw her, I would be very tempted to pursue something more with her. But she has gained some weight, and is not particularly attractive to me physically anymore. Mentally, we still click totally, and the conversations, emails and texts have been great.

I have been thinking that it is actually a blessing that she isn't the same body-wise as she used to be. I really don't want to be a 'home-wrecker.' And her son Terran has Asperger's, and what she tells me about him reminds me A LOT of Meghan. I honestly don't know if things would work out for us if we were to get together because of that. Based on past experience with Tina and Meghan, I think it would be difficult, to say the least.

As I write all this, I am thinking how shallow and judgemental I sound. But I have to be honest with myself. On top of all this, she still smokes cigarettes, and that is an issue I feel neither shallow or judgemental about it - it is unhealthy, and undesirable - periond. The other stuff, yeah, I feel a little bad about - but then again, not really. Because it is giving me an easy out - an automatic detractor from pursuing anything further (not like I would really need one, considering that fact that she is married). But it would take a lot more detracting if she still looked smokin' hot like she used to. She is still pretty, and I still like the look in her eyes, as well as her great personality.

And so I hope we can be friends and that she can avoid going nutty with all this. I have the distinct impression that she is starting to fall head over heels, and is setting things up to leave her husband - maybe not right away necessarily, but laying the foundation for the future. I don't know what it is with these married women who fall for me - sheez! It would be great if I could find a single lady who felt this way, that I felt the same way about.

So I am following the mantra "Proceed with Caution". I can only hope that she is following a simlar one herself.