Wow, I didn't realize it had been so long since I had written anything in here. I guess I have just been having way too much "fun" dealing with Galen's crap again. It started last week (Thursday) when I got a call from his English teacher - the cool one who is the guitar player and whom Galen liked so much. He told me that Galen wasn't turning in any homework at all, and that he is failing the class with a 55%. I told him about Galen's theory that he has ADHD, and Mr. Anderson (the teacher) said he has taught 1000's of kids with ADHD and that he doesn't believe Galen has it. Neither do I. Nonetheless, he has an appt tomorrow with a psych to get screened for it.
So when I got home Thursday night, I lectured - not yelled, just lectured - Galen about it and said that he needed to do his homework, ALL of it, before he could do anything else. Mr. Anderson had told me that he gives the students a 'checklist' of the homework they have, and he asked if I would start checking Galen's every night to make sure he had done it. So I thought when I sent Galen into his room to do his homework, he would be in there all night to get it all done. He had like 4 journal entries to do, a poem, and something else.
Well, lo and behold, less than an hour after he went in there, he came out saying he was done. I was like, "no way..." But sure enough, I checked it, and he had completed all of the work. I asked him, "you created all this heartache and headache over a measly hours worth of homework? Really?" He seemed to agree that it was silly and agreed that he just need to start doing it. So once again, I thought we had a productive talk, and just maybe he was back on track. Then came Friday...
I got home from work, and the first thing I see when I walk in is him standing there with something behind his back. He starts saying something to the effect of "I know you're going to be mad... blah blah blah.... Derek had my bus pass and wouldn't bring it to me... blah blah..." and after his little story, pulls the home phone out from behind his back and tells me that it is broken - he got mad at Derek, threw it, and broke it. It was at this point that I also noticed he had that stupid freakin' black marker all over his arms again, as well as black-painted fingernails, and to top it all off, a button that said "Legalize Cannabis". Needless to say, at this exaclt moment, I went off.
I started lambasting him, telling him how he had told me that yelling and screaming didn't work (and saying it very sarcastically, as if he had been a baby about it, which he had) and how I had changed that behavior - how I hadn't been yelling and screaming at him, but talking to him, and even going so far as rewarding him by giving him a phone again. I told him that if he wanted to stay in my house, there was to be no more of the black marker all over the arms and the black nail polish had to go. And I got EXTREMELY upset about the button and told him that I couldn't believe he had the gaul to wear that in my house, knowing that I am a recovering addict. I basically ended it all by saying - yelling - the old cliche' "if you want to live in my house, you will live by my rules." I punctuated it with a nice "if you want to look like a drug addict, then go live with them and get the fuck out!" It sickened me to think how much I sounded like my mom at that moment. But I remember too that I never looked the part like Galen does - not in high school anyway - and that at least I went to school and passed my classes. I never tried to intentionally throw it in my mom's face like Galen is doing to me.
So anyway, I left to take Tessi to Sam's, meet Paul F and some guys for dinner, and then go to my Friday meeting. When I got home, Galen had left a note with a seriously "martyr-ish" tone to it, saying that he thought it best if he leave for the weekend, that he didn't want to make any more excuses, and that I was right - it wouldn't be fair to Tessi for him to endanger my sobriety. And I have not heard from or seen him since. I am getting ready to go up to his school to see if they can call him down to the office for me though because I need to find out how he wants to meet up to go to his appt.
The actual reason I thought to sit down and write this today is because I was pondering that very meeting, and feeling a tinge of guilt for the fact that if he were to stay away from home, basically move out, I wouldn't care one bit. Any feelings of attachment and concern for him have been replaced by disgust and disappointment. He is old enough now that he is not helpless, and all these things are coming about as consequences of several poor decisions he has made, his brutal laziness, and I think some misguided effort on his part to create this mystique of being a "bad boy", a troubled youth. Whatever. I might get him laid, but it sure isn't winning any points with me.
And so I am going to go ask him if he is moving out for good, and if he tells me that he is, demand the housekeys back. Other than that, I have no real plans until after we go to meet with the shrink tomorrow. His mom is coming too, so we will all be there together, which will actually be nice. I am thinking about keeping Tessi home from school so she can come to, and we can all show him that, as a family, we all love and support him - yet AGAIN. Not like we haven't gone out of our way to show him a 1000 times already. I guess we'll see what happens. Fortunately, I have an appt. with Diana tomorrow night, so I can work through some of this stuff, of which I am sure there will be plenty!
No comments:
Post a Comment