Thoughts on meditation

Usually on Monday mornings, I post something about the previous weekend. But, there really wasn't much that happened of note this weekend. Tessi had Genesys come over to spend the night Saturday, and I took the girls swimming for a while Saturday afternoon. Sunday, the Cardinals played their first game of the season and won, which was awesome. I got a massage last night, which felt really good. And that's about it. Oh yeah - I got calls on both Saturday and Sunday about the Telecom Log, and had to sign in and fix some crap that crashed because of our server phx04019 crashing, AGAIN. It ALMOST ruined the Cardinals game, but thank God, didn't!

So about the title of this post - I was noticing this morning when I was meditating, or trying anyway, that it was EXTREMELY difficult to get my mind to quiet down. It's fascinating to me how sometimes, it is not all too hard to get into a state of deep meditation, where my mind is quiet, and I am really resonating with the sounds and vibrations of whatever CD I am listening to. Then other times, like this morning, I can't, for the life of me, get even 10 seconds of "chatter free" time from my mind  - it is just constantly racing with all kinds of different thoughts. I am thinking that some of the reason it may have been so bad was that I missed my morning meditation Saturday morning, as I was awakened by Galen coming in and telling me that there was someone named Rachel on the phone. It was Rachel from work calling about that ticket - so I didn't get a chance to meditate.

And I guess, just like so many other things, that if you - if I - skip a practice, then I lose a little bit of progress. I am going to start keeping track, even if just casually, of when it is that I miss meditations, and see if that has an impact on it. In fact, I am thinking about keeping a "meditation log," and simply writing down after each meditation whether it was ok, good, or great, and maybe capturing what thoughts - if it was only ok - were running around in my head. I'm not quite sure how I would do it yet, and I only want to do it if it is going to add some real benefit, as otherwise, it would be defeating the very purpose of meditation.

As far as work goes, I think Better Together is finally stable, and now I will be getting with Erik to start helping with BEAT..... yay. I'm so excited. NOT! This thing seems like a real cluster, but hey - I am grateful to have a job, so I can't complain.

Not sure what the rest of the week will hold - I guess we'll just have to take it as it comes. Is there really any other way? I have my AA meeting that I chair tonight, HOA meeting tomorrow night, and who knows what else. I'm grateful to God to be sober, grateful to be out of my severe depression, and grateful to have a job.
Thank you Lord.