Update - 2012, my new position, a new place, and Tessi back home

It seems almost humorously redundant to say, once again, "Wow - it has been a LONG time since my last post!" Ha ha. But indeed, it has. And this time, because I have been enjoying life, and in particular my new job, so much. I am really loving being a BA and especially at this company, in this dept. Everyone (with the exception of the other BA, Jay) is very nice to work with, and I have encountered nothing but positive vibes (except from Jay - recurring theme here...? Lol).

About that thing with Jay - it boils down to the simple fact that he and I are basically polar opposites : I am patient, somewhat reserved, and business professional when it comes to meetings. He is impulsive, rather loud, and tends to interrupt a lot and take over meetings when he is in them. It led to a bit of an impasse last week when he talked over me at a meeting we attended - one which he was not even the presenter of - and without pouting or explicitly sating it, I let him know that I didn't appreciate it. Our boss Ryan (who is WAAAYYYY cool - one of the nicer people I have ever met, and got me a Cardinals hat for Christmas after knowing me for only 2 weeks) has even spoken to me, and him, about it. Fortunately, he sees it as it is - 2 different personalities interacting, and doesn't worry too much about it. Jay, on the other hand, seems to be incredibly sensitive, and I wonder if he isn't threatened by me a little bit. Fortunately, I am very comfortable in who and what I am, and because we are peers - he's not my boss - it really doesn't have any major impact.

Oh, did I mention I LOVE being a BA??? I was actually looking over some documents on my laptop and found a resume from 2008 that I had targeted for a BA position. I didn't realize it had been that long that I had been wanting to make this transition. I knew it had been a while. So it's no wonder that I am so happy. And what makes it even sweeter is that I am finally getting some real experience in the field, experience that I can put on a resume' so that if (and I hope it doesn't happen for a LONG time, if ever) I ended up leaving GCU, I could apply for another BA position instead of going back into development. And it seems like I have a real knack for it. I got a great 30 day review last week, and my customers (and the Devs, thank goodness) seem to like me a lot so far.

In other news, I finally decided to let the condo go and moved to a house in Mesa. It's a 4 bedroom with a 2 car garage, nice, big back yard, lots of room on the inside, and only about 100 yards away from a park. I (eventually we) are just renting it, but I like it so much, I am hoping we can stay for a long time. It's only about a mile away from where Debbie lives currently, so we have been seeing a lot more of each other, and that has been awesome. Oh, HOW could I forget - it has a WASHER AND DRYER - YESSSSSS! No more going to laundromats, and I have been LOVING that!

And, about 3 weeks ago, Tess called and said her mom wanted her to come back to live with me. I guess some shady situation went down (imagine that) where her mom and Ken went to someone's house along with all the kids, and let some 'guys' borrow their vehicle. Well, the guys were gone all day (were only supposed to be gone for a little while), and when they finally got back, Tessi said something like "It's about time - sheez!" Well, her mom and Ken didn't liker her 'embarassing' them, so they asked her to leave - which I was actually happy about, as I was not liking the way everything I bought her was disappearing, not to mention all the unsavory activities that happened over there. I am glad she is home and have been enjoying having her around.

So life is good - better than I could ever have imagined. And I am SO incredibly grateful to God, the Universe, and all that is. I am truly blessed, and if the world really ends this year, well, then at least I got to experience true heaven on earth before it does : )

Yaaayyyy! I can get to my blog again! (oh yeah - and other updates...)

Wow, what do you know - I can access my blog again at work without having to bypass the web filter by clicking "View this site now." Yaaayyyy! I know, I know - it probably isn't the most productive or ethical thing for me to be blogging at work. But, I look at it like this : according to the state of Arizona labor laws, a person who works 8 hours is entitled to two 15 minute breaks in addition to lunch (and I know this is true from having done a little factory/warehouse work in my past). And, in the past, I would have taken these perdiods to smoke a cig. It's just that now, instead of smoking a cig (I quit New Year's Eve of 2006), I blog. How's that for a good rationalization/justification - written like a true addict! Haha

Ok - we all know what the big story is - Debbie, and how awesome things are going with her. And I must say, they really are going wonderfully. We are meeting tonight at Hob Nob's to exhange gifts and I SOOO looking forward to it. I think it is fair to say that we keep getting closer and closer, and when we parted Sunday, I could really sense that she did not want to - perhaps ever. We have talked about getting the kids together to meet, and I am hoping we can arrange that soon, as we both are quite certain that we want to be with the other for a long, long time to come. I am about 99.999999999864% certain that I am going to end up asking her to marry me. It's just a matter of time.

I am still in awe at just how perfectly she matches my "wish list: for a woman, right down to the milky white skin, ample breasts, and nice feet and hands! (yes, I know I am a bit of a freak in those respects, but hey - we ARE talking dream woman here! Lol). She has beautiful eyes, and every time we are out, I catch guys looking at her. How could they not? She's absolutely beautiful. Wow, I am just so tripped out to think I am with her. And the thing that is just increible truly unbelievable, is the fact that she is so humble - and genuinely so, not like she has to put on some front that she is. Sheez, I really hope I didn't croak a couple of weeks ago, and now I am living in my own little "Matrix world", while all the while my body is in some hospital room somewhere! But hey, if it is, give me the red pill, cuz I want to stay in this dream for the duration! haha

In other news, I have been incredibly lazy at work over the last week or 2. But in all fairness, at this time of year, that is typically the status quo - at least in my dept. I don't think anyone really wants to be here, and there is much more visiting and "merriment" than normally goes on. Fortunately, I don't really have any major projects working right now anyway, so being a slug fits into the current schedule very nicely indeed!

The kids have been doing very well. Galen has gone for over a month now without generating any calls from the school to me - woo hoo! On top of that, he has been respectful and loving at home too. Tessi has been doing well, as usual, and spending a lot of time away from home at either Kk's, or Clarice's. Galen is spending this week at his friend Alex's, so I am getting some awesome "kid-free" time - quite a bit as of late. And it's perfect timing too, as it is allowing Deb and I to meet fairly often and really get to know each other. It really seems that all is in a state of total harmony right now - Thank GOD!

And I will close with that : Thank God, for everything; for the kids being happy and healthy; for me being healthy and happy; for Debbie coming into my life; for Marshal and Kristina and Qbert being healthy and happy; for Kristina being pregnant again, with a boy AND girl this time; for family, friends, a good job, a roof over our heads, food to eat and clothes to wear. My prayer is that all who are suffering this Christmas be relieved of their suffering, and that all those who are able to assist in producing that end do so, and in the most effective, efficient, and loving manner possible. To all the world, solar system, galaxy, and entire Universe, I send Blessings of Love and Harmony....

Not a match - the story continues

After pressing Wendy a little bit for information about what she actually thought about me, and realizing that she probably wasn't attracted to me at all, I decided to just let her know that I didn't think we were a match, tell her "thank you for the time", and move on. And you know what? I think I am starting to get the hang of this "dating" thing and am finally comfortable with the process that Diana described : going on at least 500 dates before getting truly frustrated about not finding someone; realizing that it's a numbers game; not taking it personally when things don't work out; not getting dscouraged and dropping out after 3 or 4 unsuccesful dates. I am starting to settle into this new mindframe.

I have not removed my profile, gotten cynical, or given up yet. I am hanging in there and just taking it easy. I am open and available, but not deperate. I still try to send out a few messages a week on POF. Even though it seems I have already messaged all the women I find intriguing, I manage to find a couple of new ones to contact. And even though I check and see that they have viewed me, but not responded, I don't let it get me down - I just keep on keepin' on. And I am TOTALLY amazed when I think back to a year or 2 ago, and just how frustrated and depressed I would get after only a few unsuccesful dates or contacts. Wow... healing is possible. Re-learning how to act and be really is possible. Wow.

I love it too. I am actually feeling a sense of 'normalcy' about the whole dating/being single thing - something I used to think might never happen. I am just so grateful that I am here now, and pray that I can stay. I think as long as I continue participating in my sobriety, continue my twice a day meditation schedule, continue working out and eating healthy, continue seeing Diana once a month - I think I can maintain what I have gained, and grow and heal even more.

So even if I am single for the next 10 years, I can be so happily, and enjoy my life to its fullest. I can love myself even more, andd enjoy the time with my friends, family and co-workers even more. I can grow even more spiritually, and more fully develop my conscious contact with my Higher Power - the Universe and all that is. I can fully accept and believe that just because I am single does not mean I am alone. I am never alone - never. What a gift it is to know - even better to FEEL - that today... :)