Facebook sucks - Galen's antics

Once again, I have decided to deactivate my Facebook account - probably for much longer this time, if I ever reactivate it at all. Yesterday, I got call from Galen's English teacher who told me that during a discussion on religion in his clasee, Galen popped off with "fuck God", prompting the teacher to have him removed from the class and writing a referral for him. I found this utterly offensive, and posted something about it on FB last night - with the expectations (WARNING - I KNOW about those things, yet I had them anyway) that someone, a friend perhaps, would post something offering some kind of support or something. Instead, Luke, and then Heather, posted some comments about Galen's constitutional rights, and how he shouldn't have been removed by security - that he should have just been given detention or something.

Well, I didn't like either of their comments - not one fucking bit. The LAST thing I wanted to hear was some defense of poor Galen's rights! What the fuck? I was so upset about it after reading them in my Netzero emails that I sent an email to Heather and Luke telling them what I thought - how I doubted that if either of their kids did something like that that they would be worried about the kids' rights. I haven't heard back from Luke yet, but Heather did call around noon. I missed the call, wouldn't have picked up anyway. She left a message saying that she was sorry, that she was upset, and that she would like to talk.

As for Luke, I am pissed at him. Because not only did he leave that comment, he also left another one that angered me. I left a post after that first one pondering why it was that whenever I wanted an email from someone, I didn't get one, and then when I didn't want one, I would get one. His response to that was "Big Baby." Which he probably thought was pretty funny. But given my current emotional state and the shit I have been going through - yeahhhhh... not so funny.

So I deactivated that fucking Facebook account, probably for good this time. I really don't use it hardly at all anyway. Most everyone on there just plays those stupid farm and mafia wars and other games, and it seems like the only real people that I communicate with on there, I email and/or talk to anyway. So what's the point? It's not like I have this big family on there to share pics with. And now, the people I consider friends are just pissing me off with comments made without knowing where I am in my head. I am sure that in person, and most likely in emails too, that is not as likely to happen.

And so I say "good fucking riddance" to Facebook again. Piss off! For good.

And that's that

I decided to put an end to the madness this last weekend. So Saturday morning, I woke up, got my gear on, grabbed Barbara's book, rode up to the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf where we first met, had a nice cup of coffee, and left the book with the people behind the counter so she could pick it up at her convenience. I figured that way, I have nothing tying me to her any more, and I can just get her out of my life completely. And at this point, that is what I want - to remove any and all connections to her. As far as my movie that she had, "What the Bleep Do We Know..?" I sent an email telling her she coudl just keep it or pass it along to someone else who might enjoy it. I also mentioned in the email that I didn't want her to send me another email with some unsolicited advice, as she sent a reply to the email I sent informing her about what I did saying that I had to "examine my reaction." I told her that she needs to examine her level of pretentiousness! Ha ha!

So I think I have closed that chapter for good. Of course, I was thinking yesterday that she is probably one of those women who just loves arguing, or being challenged, and that this won't be the end for her - she just won't be able to let it go. We'll see though. I actually hope it is - I really do. As pretty as she was, as intelligent and spiritual, as good a connection as we shared, it is clear to me that either she is a very selfish, uncompassionate person, really is WAY too busy for any new friends (in which case, whats the point?), or she was being dishonest with me and really didn't want to see me. And in any of these cases, I wouldn't really want to be her friend anyway, so....

In other, more pleasant news, I met Heather Saturday night at a little coffeeshop in Glendale that I have heard mentioned before in the Program called the Coffee Cup and Spoon. They have a karaoke night on Friday and Saturday nights, and it was really fun to watch all the different people get up and "try" to sing! Lol. Some were actually pretty good. Heather got up and did "Separate Ways" by Journey and rocked it pretty good! It was fun, and I enjoyed hanging out with her.

In other news, I "flipped" my exercise bike on craigslist and went and bought a treadmill off the same. It worked out so cool - I put the bike up Saturday afternoon, got an email about it Sunday morning, had a guy and his daughter come and buy it Sunday around noon for $120, called on the treadmill while they ran to the bank to get some cash, and as soon as they left with the bike, went and picked up the treadmill for $120! It worked out so perfectly , a real God thing. I wanted to get a treadmill because I just haven't been using the bike at all, and I am really enjoying running now. Now we'll see if I use the treadmill or not! Ha ha. I think I will though.

Took the kids to see "Despicable Me" yesterday, and it was a great movie. It was also nice to spend a little family time together - it had been a while. I think I am going to make more of an effort to make sure we spend at least one day every week or 2 doing something together like that.

So all in all, it was a nice weekend. I am looking forward to a nice week, and even better - a 3 day weekend! Woo hoo!

Recapping Sunday's events

Yesterday, I was fairly shocked to receive a text from Barbara wishing me "good morning" and saying that she had been mulling over the idea of friendship, and how that might look. She also mentioned that she is extremely busy, with having 2 jobs and going to school, and that if she doesn't always get back to me in a timely manner, I shouldn't take it personal. I told her that I thought I could do that, and so it seems that we are going to be able to be friends after all, which is pretty cool. Because even though I thought she played some mind games - which she may not have meant to do - she is a nice woman who is very interesting to talk to and very spiritual. So I am pretty happy about that. And I would be lying if I said I had no hope or belief that her contacting me again might well indicate that she actually "misses" me to some extent, and that it might yet turn to something more one day. But I am not expecting that, nor am I putting all my hopes and expectations into it - I am just going to enjoy being friends.

I did end up meeting with Heather yesterday, and we talked for a good 2 hours. It was pretty emotional for her, and I think some of the stuff we talked about, esp. regarding parents, our addictions, our struggles and trials, really brought up some stuff that was painful for her. She teared up a couple of times, and I actually ended up reaching out and hugging and comforting her once, as she was very emotional, and I wanted her to know that I was there for her. I told her that she doesn't need to be alone all the time - that she can call me, and we can do some things together. I always liked Heather - she is a real, genuine person, and a total sweetheart.

Which reminds me that I want to send her an email and check in on her, so I think I will do that. All is going well in my life, other than the fact that I checked my APS bill this morning, and it is $330 for last month! That is just crazy, considering it was only $155 last month, and about $192 for July of last year. I called APS, but of course they said nothing was wrong, and that I should have my A/C unit serviced. So I am going to do that, and if the bill is still sky high next month, they gonna' have some 'splaining to do!!!

Weekend update

So yeah - the whole "taking a break thing"...yyyyeaahhhh. Here I am again, trolling POF, sending out messages, and taking chances! Lol. At first, I was thinking maybe that's a bad thing - maybe I really am desperate and totally codependent. But then I started thinking, hey - maybe it's actually a good thing. Maybe it means I am not getting so hopeless and despondent every time something doesn't work out, and I am actually maintaining some faith and belief in myself. I remember Diana saying that there is a difference to putting myself out there and making myself available and being truly desperate.

Now for a bit of "the trippy" : I had a dream Friday night that I was in a relationship with a black girl. It was like we were married or engaged or something. By itself, not erxtraordinary, although I have never dreamed of being with a black girl before. Then, last night when I was on POF, a black girl actually IM'd me, and we chatted for a bit. It was a pretty good chat, and she looks really pretty. BUT, I am not reading too much into it. If I learned anything in my experience with Barbara, it was to avoid assigning all kinds of meaning to various events, even if they seem to be incredibly coincidental - it can lead to nothing but heartache and trouble. I mean, if something great does come out of something like that, I can always look back in wonder, and think "wow." But if I go all crazy with it, thinking "this is meant to be!" and it doesn't work out...? No bueno.

In other news, I am meeting Heather Tancke for coffee today at 2. Heather has always been a really cool chick, and - to be brutally honest - if she was in a little better shape, I would probably ask her out. But she has gained some weight over the years, and I am just not able to get over my aversion to dating heavier women - especially now that I have gotten into such good shape myself. I think it will be great to catch up though and to visit with her. She really is a sweetheart.

Ok - enough typing for today. I'm audi 5000 yizzall!