A better weekend

This weekend marked the first time in quite awhile that Galen, Tessi and I have spent more than just a few minutes together on a Saturday or Sunday, and it was really nice. We all went to PV mall Saturday morning to get Galen something he wanted at Hot Topic - these 'arm warmer' type things. I have decided to stop concerning myself so much with the black nail polish and such and to focus just on his behavior and school performance. While we were there, I also got Tessi a nice little silver ring like she had been wanting - as a sort of reward for getting straight A's. So they both got a bit of a treat, and it was good to spend some time enjoying each other's company. Later that afternoon, I tool Tess over to her mom's to stay the night.

The rest of the weekend was pretty relaxing. Galen actually stayed home all weekend, which was a bit of a shocker, and actually kinda' nice. I went to bowling Saturday night and had one of those nights where I can couldn't throw the ball the same way twice. Good thing is, I still had a blast! Lol.We watched a monster movie Saturday night that I had rented. Sunday, I did a MAJOR floor cleaning in the living room, kitchen and dining room - basically all the marble tile. It looks, smells and feels SO much better now. Then I watched the Cards try to lose to Oakland unsuccessfully - they actually won somehow (more like Oakland lost it, as their kicker missed a 33 year chip shot with 2 seconds left).

All in all, it was a good weekend. I guess there is one little thing I left out, but I am not going to make too much of it. Saturday, after going to PV mall, we headed home so Galen could collect a bunch of his PS2 games that he wanted to trade in to get a new one - Prince of Persia. While we were at GameStop, a lady (Jennifer) who has a daughter (Madison) that went to Madison Christian when Tessi was there came in, and we struck up a conversation. I have always thought she was pretty and always wanted to talk to her. But I thought she was married or had  boyfriend, so I never pursued it. Saturday, I worked up enough courage to ask about that stuff a little bit. And when I found out she wasn't married and didn't have a boyfriend, I asked her if she would like to get coffee or something sometime. She said yes, and we exchanged numbers. I actually contacted her to ask about Sunday morning, but she wasn't able to make it. We are supposedly going to try again for this weekend.

There is a part of me that started to get excited, as she did seem to light up a bit (even Tessi thought so) when I asked her about getting coffee. But I have learned in my recent experiences to never assign too much meaning to anything and to never expect anything; just take it as it comes, and if it doesn't come at all, so be it - don't get all upset, just accept it and roll on. And right now, that is exactly what I am doing. I was thinking about texting her yesterday to say "hope you're having a good day," and then I decided not to. I am just not going to go after like I have before. Because, to be honest, at some level, I just don't care about that whole thing anymore - not like I used to. I would be lying to say that I don't care at all, because I do. And if I had a choice, sure, I would have a girlfriend. But I feel that I have given it the old "Harvard try" - I've given it all I had, and came out with nada. So I am ok with just not giving it much of anything for ahwile.

I am trying to focus more on friends, my kids, and the Program. I am answering the phone now - every time a friend calls. No matter if it's Todd, Luke, whoever - I answer. And I am doing a better job reaching out and staying in touch with friends like Heather, Sharon and Ty. It is these relationships that I am focusing on now - ones that will still be here 1, 2, 5 years from now. And as far as all the things I miss - the sex, the sex, and of course, the SEX! LOL! well, I will survive. And someday, I am confident that I will have sex with someone, and something other than my hand again. Even if I have to end up going to Nevada and "buying" some love one day, I will have sex again. But I am not going to go relationship hunting with that as the primary objective - not again. And so, I am focusing on friends. And today, that's ok - it really is : )