Wow, what a difference a week and a half can bring. I started a bit of an upswing - a very small, tiny one - but now I am once again feeling like crap. Where to begin. Well, yesterday, I was scheduled to have a conference with Galen's teachers, and I thought that since he had been doing better, and because I didn't want to leave work early yet again, I would just 'call in.' I called and got in touch with one of his teachers, but she thought it was imporant that I come in and talk to them because they had a "behavioral contract" for Galen that they needed me to sign. So I did just that. And so began an awful night.
Two of the three teachers proceeded to tell me that he was STILL not turning assignments in, that he was talking and disrupting class, that he was still not following all of the rules, etc. Needless to say, I got EXTREMELY upset. On top of that, he was supposed to be there too, but he wasn't. He claimed that he figured I would stop by home and pick him up to take him BACK to school - logical, right? Right! When I got home, I really let into him. He pulled the same shit he always has, making excuses, blaming the teachers, etc - but this time he added a few "new" things. When I told him he was grounded again, he told me that if his girlfriend broke up with him because he couldn't talk on the phone, that he would intentionally fail the 8th grade repeatedly, until they had to basically kick him out because he was too old (he went so far to name some law about it, as if he had already looked into it). Then, when I told him that we might send him to boarding school, he told me that he would go live with Sam and Kenny before we could do that. Oh - and that's a part of the story that needs further light shed on it -
See, Sam sober now, because they (she and Kenny) are supposedly trying to get the 4 kids they lost back (and probably keep the new baby). Also, she is going to school to be a crime scene investigator. The kids spent the weekend with Lora, and apparently spent some good time with Sam as well. And for that, I truly am grateful. I have been praying that she would get sober and take some interest in the kids for a long time. But now, I get to experience the "return of the hero" syndrome again, where the kids think mom is just awesome, and so nice, and working so hard, yadda yadda yadda - and me? I'm the asshole, the disciplinarian, the ball buster. I bust my ass for the last 6 years, sacrificing everything for those kids, while she fucks off and gets high. Now, she gets to waltze in and be 'the chosen one.' I don't like it too much. But I digress - back to the story -
So he threatened to go live with them, and I got even more pissed. But then, he said the thing that sent me over the top. He told me that he wasn't going to see or spend time with the family anymore because every time he did, he lost time that he could have spent with his girlfriend. And it has worked out just so that the times he hasn't been with family (my mom, Grammi, Uncle Marshal) he has been grounded. So it only made sense to make the connection that it was the family's fault that he didn't get to see his girlfriend.
Well, I had heard enough threats and decided to take him up on them. So, I got in the hall closet, grabbged his suitcase, and started packing it for him, told him I was taking his ass over to his mom's right then and there, and that he could live with them. And I did just that - drove his butt right to her front doorstep and told him to get out. She was standing out front, but I didn't even talk to her - I just had him close the door and drove off. I picked up a new deadbolt on the way home and istalled it so he will no longer be able to get in the house. He is out of our life for awhile - til after Christmas I have decided. He doesn't want to be around the family, so I am going to take him up on it all the way.
And he is not getting anything back, except for clothes. No iPod, no bike, no skateboards, nothing. I am done with him. It is hard to believe that after all I have done for him, he could be so cold, cruel, uncaring, and disrespectful. But he is, and I will not have it. I am not sure what my counsellor Diana is going to say about it, but I am standing my ground. Sam hasn't done a fucking thing for those kids for the last 6 years. So if she really is sober, she can take a turn. She's only got the 1 baby now thanks to CPS, so she can handle it for awhile. She's going to have to - I told her straight up last night that if he can't stay with her, he will need to find someplace else to go. And I mean. No one, NO ONE, threatens me. I am, or used to be, a very nice, patient, easy going person. But even then, I didn't let anyone get away with that bullshit. I think I am losing that part of myself now though - I am coming to learn that being nice just doesn't pay : it doesn't pay in the dating world, in the corporate world, and apparently not even in the family world. So the "nice guy" may be gone forever. Welcome to the new, harder me - hope everyone likes it - it's what they wanted. Well, now they're going to get it.
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