Bowling bummage

Well, last night was probably the worst night of bowling I have had all season, which in itself would have been just about enough to lead to a decision to not bowl again next season. But when Randall decided to basically "tease" me as I was leaving by going "Waaahhhhh", that sealed the deal.

You know, I am not sure if has anything to do with him at all really, or if it is just me, but I find it incredibly frustrating - not fun like it's supposed to be. I started off the season like a man on fire, rolling 200's left and right, and even scoring a 691 scratch series. But like always happens (for some weird, unknown reason) the rest of the season has been a not-so-slow descent into the land of bowling 120's and 130's. I am not sure what the hell happens to me, but it really seems like I have some built-in self destruct mechanism that fires off every season in bowling, and I am just tired of fighting it. What makes it even worse is that when I try to improve my game by practicing a bit more, or even getting some coaching, I still don't do any better in league. The really ironic thing? I can bowl 200's pretty consistently practicing, but when I hit league - pppphhhhhhtttttt!!! All the air goes out of the tires, and I suck (or blow, as it may be).

Now if I bowled with someone who was generally cool about it and supportive (like my one teammate Brad) I could probably roll on through it and keep bowling, laughing all the while. But Randall has a way of being about him that seems to indicate that he has the compassion and understanding of a seedless grape. There are times when I, or someone else (like Kevin K this Friday) just needs a pat on the shoulder, and a "hey man, it's cool - don't worry about it. Everything is going to be ok." But he seems completely incapable of offering such support, and instead, gives the advice of a nazi sponsor, admonishing the person to 'quit whining', or pulling the 'wahhh hahh' thing like he did with me. When someone on your team in a team sport is down, that is the LAST thing they need.

But, I have come to accept my powerlessness in the situation, and know that I cannot change the way Randall is. And I also know that I have a part in it - my expectations of my self are too high, and I let my ego get in the way of just having fun. I see JT, and Emile, and Ken and Roger Gosney and all these guys getting better and better, and I feel like I am "less than," "no good," and "a horrible bowler," and then that is what I become. So I know I have a huge part in it as well. But at this point in my life, I just don't think I need something that is only going to cause me to think such thoughts. And especially not something that is SUPPOSED to be fun, and recreational.

So I was thinking that I would take the $50-60 a month I have been spending on bowling and get a membership at the new health club that is supposed to be opening soon on 16th st and Bethany. Why not take the time to do something that is good for me, will improve both my health and appearance, as well as my image of myself, and is non-competitive? And so that is what I am going to do. Who knows - maybe this was God's way of getting me there - and maybe I am just a poor sport looking for something where I can't lose! ha ha! Either way, it sounds like a winner to me.