Back to reality - kinda'

Today was "the day after"; the day after I met a woman that took my breath away; the day after we talked and texted frequently exchanging thoughts and feelings; the day after we texted into the night - 2 in the morning to be exact; and the day after I actually sent this woman, whom I had just met that morning, an actual piece of myself - the entire blog entry, unedited. I am almost a little disappointed in myself, as I know that was something that any sane, rational person would STRONGLY advise against. But I did it - it's done.

And I guess that about sums up what has been happening the last 2 days : I feel like I have lost my mind. I have felt almost as if I was tweaking, full of anxiety, short of breath, confused. Then today - the comedown. The realization that I did something that probably was silly, if not downright stupid. It was interesting how it all went down, as it seemed that when I started to wax romantic, Barbara would bring me back to the "let's just go for friends first" thing. Yet, she asked to see the blog entry - even when I told her that it would be WAY beyond the 'friendly' boundary. And, who am I to deny a beautiful - truly beautiful woman - her request, even if at my own great peril.

She said she was going to write something herself before she read mine and that she would send it to me. We touched bases this morning, she had gone to church, and then napped for a great portion of the afternoon. So as of now, I haven't received anything from her. I am trying to tell myself "it's ok", and in reality, it is ok. But I would be lying to say that I am not a little concerned that I have really opened up a gaping hole in my "defense" and she may not feel the same way I do. She might think I am totally obsessive and codependent. She may not even be attracted to me. Ok - so I just texted her and asked her if she found me physically attractive at all, and she said yes. So at least I got that one! Lol.

I feel like I am coming down.. the dreaded "day after." My mind has raced and writhed, pondered and dreamed, wished and worried. Now, I am spent, and looking forward to going to bed soon. I don't really know what will come of this, but I know that I sure have felt like I have been a little crazy. I guess just a little is ok though, right? That's what I'm telling myself anyway : )