I had to add the little "maybe" to the end of my title there, because if there is anything I have learned in the dating game this far - at least the Internet one anyway - it is to never be too certain of anything. What seems like a sure thing can be a mirage, and counting on something to work out well can be setting myself up for disappointment. I need to remind myself of these things not to be negative and pessimistic about it, but to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground and not get my expectations up too high as I have so often done in the past when it comes to dating. Ok - now that we've covered that, on to the "meat" of this post...
So Saturday, I went and met this woman at Unlimited Coffee that I met through POF. We had been messaging back and forth, and she mentioned that she was working on a business plan, and that she needed someone to help her with a website. I had told her about me being a developer, and she mentioned that maybe we could meet up some time to talk about it. I thought that was awesome, as it provided an in, BUT, I was also hesitant, because I thought maybe that's all she wanted to meet for - to talk about the website, and that there was no real interest in me as a dating possibility.
We met Saturday at 2pm, and to my relief, we started talking about all kinds of stuff right off the bat. I found her to be very attractive (especially considering my "type") and I couldn't help but think how much she reminded me of Tina, especially the way her hair was. I was, and am, very attracted to her. The conversation flowed very easily, and it was pretty evident that this woman is very intelligent, very self-aware, and totally comfortable with herself. We talked about everything from kids, to quantum physics, to Freud, philosophy and dreams. After about 2 and a half hours, she said she should really get going, and I thought I ought too as well. As she getting her stuff packed, I asked her if there was any chance we might be able to go on an actual date sometime, to which she replied "Sure! Where do you want to go?"
I was actually a little flabbergasted, partly because I really didn't expect her to say yes (I couldn't completely read her, and Lord knows I have read women wrong before!) and partly because I was so attracted to her, that I was ecstatic inside, and caught in the moment - that glorious "Yes" moment that us single people live for. I told that I thought we could do just about anything and enjoy it because of the great convo we had and that I would think it over. She said ok and asked (actually, kind of 'directed') me to walk her to her car, which I thought was awesome. She gave me a nice hug, and I walked home pretty stoked about it all.
But not ecstatic, and I was - and am - glad about that.Too many times I have gotten SOOOO excited after a first meeting, that I totally set myself for a heart-wrenching disappointment if things didn't work out. Or, on the flip side, I sucked a woman in very close to me because of my passion, only to find out later that the initial excitement I felt in the beginning was just that - initial excitement - and that after a couple of weeks, I wasn't so excited to be with the person anymore. So it isn't really being pessimistic for me, which is something I really try to avoid because of how my mom is - it is being realistic, maintaining balance, and keeping my priorities straight instead of letting the obsession take hold of me. Wow - did I just right that? More importantly - did I MEAN it? I think I did! Yippeeeee!
So there is an opportunity on the horizon. And I am looking forward to exploring it, keeping in mind that the exploration may turn up a wonderful find, a treasure of untold value; and then again, the exploration may turn up something completely different. The important thing is to simply enjoy the exploration for what it is, knowing that someday, when the time is right, and the Universe/my HP determines that both of us are ready, I will meet that "special someone", and she will meet me. Is Wendy that person? I don't know. But I am going to let time by the instrument by which that is determined, and not my codependent obsessiveness. And I am going to let my HP be the 'decider' of that instead of my 'broken picker'. I am going to be patient, trusting, and easy on myself. And you know what? It's about time! Lol :)P
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