I decided to take an entirely different approach at things last night. I was thinking about how it is the communication aspect I like so much about the whole 'relationship' thing, and so I thought if maybe there were some ways, other than looking for a "match" on some dating site, that I might be able to find a good, old-fashioned pen pal - someone to correspond with in a friendly manner about day to day things; someone objective to share thoughts and feelings with; someone to get to know who lives an entirely separate life. So I decided to hit the net and see what I could find.
Well, to my somewhat surprise (not total though), I found that most of the so-called pen pal sites that I found through Google were simply dating sites by another name. Sure, some of them had all the trappings of a legit pen pal site - 'make friends, spread peace and understanding, blah blah blah...' when in reality, they are just dating sites under another name. After poking around for awhile, and even creating a profile on one of the sites only to delete it after finding out what it really was, I finally came across one that just might be legit - and yet sounds like it wouldn't be - oh, the irony : penpalparty.com.
So I created a profile, and even sent off a message to a lady I found through the site who sounds like she might be interesting. Supposedly, she is a meditation retreat leader, so I am thinking she might be interesting to correspond with. She sent me a brief email this morning, which I sent a rather lengthy reply to. But I have not yet heard back from her. Who knows what will come of it. I definitely have NO expectations about it. I just think it would be fun to have that kind of relationship with someone - purely, by its very nature, platonic, and based solely on personality and character. It sounds fascinating to me. Of course, that opportunity has always existed, but for some reason, knowing that the person is hundreds, if not thousands, of miles away makes it even more intriguing.
I was thinking today that I want to modify my profile tonight to mention that I would really like to correspond with a woman from Europe. I think it would be fascinating to run some things by her and see how different their attitudes are about certain things - or perhaps how similar they are. I have gotten to a point in my life where I have some serious issues with American women, and am curious to know if it is really just American women, or all women in general! Ha ha! Hopefully this will turn out to be fun.
Tonight I have an appt with Diana and I am planning on talking to her a bit about the holidays and how I don' want to do them this year as I have in the past, by going to Mike and Teri's. I am curious to find out what she will say. On a similar note, Galen went to see his counsellor for the first time without me last night, and I think it went pretty well - especially considering some of the things he was talking about last night - things like that fact that he thinks he wants to become a biomedical engineer or something so he can work on finding the cure for cancer (what the...?) It was pretty hard for me to believe, as up this point, his life goal has been to be a tattoo artist or manager at Zia's. I can't help but think his counsellor must have talked to him a bit about his choices in life and later career opportunities. Of course, it remains to be seen if he sticks with his newfound academic dedication (he said as part of this that he is going to stop ditching and start working hard to pull his grades up so he can get into a good university).
But I am grateful for any small amount of hope in any form it comes in at this point. Things have seemed so bleak with hi for so long that even a little thing like this is very, very welcome - albeit incredibly strange and somewhat unbelievable too! Lol. Overall, we have been getting along much better too, so the house has been much more peaceful - thank God for that. Well, almost meeting time. Good thing to, as I have had NO motivation to do anything like work for the last week or 2. I decided to take this Friday and the following Monday off on PTO. Maybe that little break will help recharge my "development batteries" so I can find SOME shred of motivation again. I sure hope so! Ha ha
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