The dish on the first date

Last night was the big "first date" with Pattie, and it went very well. When I first met her at Carraba's, I was a little taken aback, as she was wearing a dress, and it did seem as though she was a little thicker in the middle than I might have imagined her. But she looked pretty, has great calves and feet (GREAT feet, very sexy), so I basically just forgot about that and decided to enjoy the date and not focus on that part. And I am glad I did, because we had a really nice time. We ate dinner and then decided to go to Starbucks for dessert. She is not a coffee drinker, but said she could do a hot chocolate.

When we got to Starbucks and I saw her walking up to me (we took separate vehicles) I realized that she has some very sexy legs - she was wearing heels, and they made both her legs and feet look great. So I rethought my position, and realized that I don't need to filter my view of someone through society's view of what is sexy and what is not, or even my own distorted view for that matter : I can look at her with new eyes, and see her for her, and not for what I judge her to be. To my amazement, that actually worked, and I saw her as beautiful (and not like she isn't or something, because she is - it's just my anal-retentive perfectionist ideas that kept from seeing that before) and really, really wanted her.

We sat close and held hands, visiting about stuff for about an hour at the coffeeshop. Then it was time for me to get home to the kiddos. I walked to her car/minivan, and we kissed - and man was it a passionate kiss! It was very nice, and at times, she was so passionate and forceful about it, I thought she was going to literally crawl inside me! Lol! I can say that there was no doubt that she liked me A LOT, and wanted me too. And she has great skin - so soft and supple, I swear it's like that of a 16 year old. And she felt good in my arms - not like I was hugging some "big" woman or anything - not at all.

So I have decided to continue seeing her and see where things go. She is so much fun to talk to/chat with, and I am genuinely attracted to her. I was thinking last night on the way home that the whole situation reminded me somewhat of that movie "Shallow Hal", not that she is nearly as big as the lady in that was. But in the manner in which she seemed to get even prettier and prettier to me as the night went on - and I wasn't even drinking! Lol! It's sounding like we are going to see each other again tomorrow night, and I am happy. I am not all madly-in-love, over the top, obsessed, crazy for her - - and that is GOOD. It is healthy, and for that and several other reasons, I am very grateful and happy. I am learning to love just like I am trying to live - one day at a time :)