The Beautiful People

So I have been thinking about dating Patricia, and a strange thought popped into my head - I wondered what it would be like to take her to Mike and Teri's for some holiday or other occasion - how that would feel? I thought about the fact that Marshal and Kristina are both great looking people, Mikey and his fiance' Tina are both pretty good looking - but what about Patricia and I? And then I thought further about Marshal and Kristina, and how all their friends (e.g. Brent and Alex) seem to be "the beautiful people". You know - the guys that every girl wanted to date in high school, and the girls that every guy wanted to date. It seems like every time I see pictures of some of their friends (and them), I can't help but think they are the beautiful people, and how could I bring someone - including myself - around to events with them, when we aren't beautiful?

Now I am almost certain that they, Marshal and Kristina, don't think of themselves that way way. And I am even more certain that Mike and Teri don't think that way. So the question is - why do I think that way? Why do I feel this pressure to "measure up," to prove myself as 'worthy' by bringing some gorgeous woman to their functions? I mean, even when I brought Tina, I didn't think that she was good enough - although Danny seemed to think she was pretty, and enjoyed flirting with her! Lol. I am really stuck on this as of late. Why can't I, or don't I, attract "the beautiful people?" The obvious answer is that I am not one of them. And I guess that is what I am grappling with - accepting who and what I am, and accepting life on life's terms.

I am not really sure what to think about all this. I know one thing for sure - it will make for some great work material at my next session with Diana! And I know that in the final analysis, beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder, and all this talk about who is beautiful and who is not is being filtered through my judgement, and the verdicts issued are very subjective - not objective at all. And I am trying to keep that in mind as I work through this. I mean, if we were all blind, who could really say who was beautiful and who wasn't, right? It would be based on something other than physical appearance entirely, and in that case, maybe even I would be one of the "beautiful people."