The latest

Wow - from the period of time between postings now, one might suppose that I either have a life now, have been extremely depressed, or abducted by aliens. Fortunately, the second one is not true, unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on what kind of aliens) the third one is not true either. Which is not to say that I have an actual life now. But I guess I am getting closer to that, as I have started doing some different things lately.

First of all, to catch up on the Galen saga, we came over this weekend to stay the night, and we got a good chance to talk about several things. Based on our convos, I decided that it was ok if he stays at Sam and Kenny's for awhile and ok if Tessi still wants to spend the night there sometimes. I still think there are some shady dealings going on over there, but he feels safe, and from what he said, I can't be sure that they are actually dealing meth, which was my biggest concern. So he is going to stay over there til at least the end of the semester. I am glad actually because I have really relaxed for the first time in years.

Ok - now on to other stuff. Just like a gift from above, Banner opened an employee welness center across the street and the dues are only $50 a year. I joined right away and have been working out 3 days a week for the last week or 2 (including this week) It feels good to be working out again, and this time I am focusing more on cardio so I can maybe lose some weight. I am still mixing strength training in too, but the cardio is the main focus. Whether or not I end up losing any weight, I feel better about myself knowing I am at least trying to do something to get in shape.

I have also found some good new meetings to go to - a great Al Anon on Thursday's, and an awesome AA Big Book on Fridays. In additon, I am continuing my intensive work with Diana and started a new med last week - Lamactil. It is supposed to take the "bottom" out of my depression so I don't get as down as I did this last time. And Loerd knows I don't ever want to get that bad again. I am still not sure why I didn't do something really horrible. I think it was simply the thought of the kids and what it would do to them. I honestly think that if I didn't have them, I would not be here today after that last spell. It was everything I could do to not take myself out. I've never felt it that strong before - like an actual compulsion, physical and mental. Scary stuff. Hopefully this new med will help.

I don't like the thought of being on yet another medication. But given the way I felt during that last episode, I don't know that I have any other options. If that's what it takes to make it through without offing myself, then so be it.

Other than that, things have been going fairly well. Work is staying steady, and I achieved a major accomplishment by getting the web part I have been working on to pull data from a Sharepoint list instead of SQL Server. Al was pretty stoked about it, and that is always a good thing.

I am going to go to happy hour with the boys on Friday night, so we'll see how that goes. It is always interesting going to events where pretty much everyone is drinking. I think it will be fun though. I am hoping there is some girl/woman there who imbibes a little too much, and feels "needy" - if ya' get my drift!