The Reaction

Today I checked my netzero account to see 2 Facebook messages from Ty's husband, Mike, telling me basically to stay away from Ty, that I am morally wrong, that I planned this all along, and that he was getting screwed in this whole deal. And to be honest, I deserved all of that - I really did, and he is correct. Well, except for the planning part. I honestly did not have any intentions of breaking up her marriage or even of pursuing her. He also mentioned that he is going to fight with every fiber of his being to save his marriage.

The first and second email weren't too frightening. I sent him a reply stating that I was sorry, that I really had no intention of doing this, that Ty had pursued me - not the other way around. He sent a reply to that one that was slightly more threatening and mentioned something about me being a "real brave man" halfway around the world. It all server to make me feel pretty crappy about myself. And like I said - I honestly deserve a lot of it. What I am doing is wrong on some level. And what I am doing and allowing to happen is causing him a lot of pain. I really did not want that to happen and I truly feel bad about it.

My biggest fear is that he will come home from over there after having boiled and festered about this for 6 months, and he will snap. I am not some big pussy or anything, but I have the utmost respect for the amount of damage a person can do when they feel they have been betrayed, and I worry about him coming after me or my family. It is not something I take lightly, and I am sitting here pretty concerned about it right now. Ty seems to think he will cool down over the next 6 months. But then again, she never thought he would be like this at all, so I have to wonder how accurate her prediction will be.

And the moral of the story? Don't jump into a tarpit unless you like the smell of tar and don't mind being stuck for awhile. I am in waist deep and hoping that no one takes potshots at me while I am in there. How in the hell does this always happen to me? Why in the fuck don't single women like me as much as married women? Or why does it seem that way? Of course, I am just trying to shift the focus and shirk responsibility here : I got myself into this, I acted on my desires, I did things that were immoral. There is no one to blame but myself. I can only hope and pray that no one gets seriously hurt as a result of all this...